The New Disease

Buy Me!

2011-12-25T10:35:00.000-08:00

As of this moment, my personal political endorsement of any presidential candidate, any party, is now for sale.

The bidding starts at $999,999.00. Bidding ends when I decided I've raked in enough dough to get off the couch.

The "winning" candidate will receive: A nod in said candidate's general direction, a knowing wink when candidate's name is mentioned, a slow nod of approval with overly large smile if asked "Do you support 'Candidate X'?" and a "Like" of candidate's official Facebook page.

Let the money shower commence!

Really?

2011-12-04T07:40:00.000-08:00

A handful of government officials secretly colluded with basically the nation's entire financial sector to receive secret loans for $7.7 trillion fucking dollars. SEVEN POINT SEVEN TRILLION FUCKING DOLLARS.

I may be wrong but I think that looks like this:

$7,700,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000

Close enough for government work, as my Grandpa used to say.

Should we have hearings? Demand investigations? Crap ourselves silly?

I have only one suggestion: drag every single CEO and government official culpable in this corruption out of their offices by the hair, pepper spray them in the face, hit them in the ribs and along their spines with billy clubs, cuff 'em, throw 'em in a police van for ten hours, make 'em piss and shit themselves, put 'em in a filthy, overcrowded jail without representation, food or medicine, parade their degraded faces all over the media, mock them on national television, slap enormously out of proportion bail on them and finally kick 'em out on the street. Without their jobs.

Then tell 'em to take a bath and get a job.

Time Travel is Bad

2011-11-22T19:22:00.000-08:00

My response.

It's Willie Time!

2011-11-22T12:34:00.000-08:00

Newt: You are so distanced from reality that you don't know what a janitor does, do you? Here's a reality check:

"A janitor's job is also more dangerous than most American occupations -- and hardly fit for children, according to the Labor Department's description of the work. Janitors, it notes, 'may suffer cuts, bruises, and burns from machines, handtools, and chemicals. They spend most of their time on their feet, sometimes lifting or pushing heavy furniture or equipment. Many tasks, such as dusting or sweeping, require constant bending, stooping, and stretching.'"

Not to mention cleaning up the vomit of sick children. Custodial work is hard goddamn work. I know because I did this for a living once upon a time. It's back breaking and exhausting and requires more skills than the average person can believe.

How many kindergartners can sweep, mop and wax a classroom floor? How many first graders can prep, prime and paint anything? How many second graders can repair minor plumbing and electrical problems? How many third graders can shampoo carpets? How many fourth graders can safely move a 50-gallon drum of toxic cleaner? How many school children can work second shift to do all this work because most of it can't be done during school hours?

Finally: How many Newt Gringrich's are willing to work one hour as a janitor?

The answer to all of these questions is: NONE. Especially the last.

Confession: I've been waiting 20 years for Newt to publicly show what a truly despicable person he is. It's been worth the wait.

Just Say "Jesus" First

2011-11-04T09:55:00.000-07:00

Mmmm, kids, mmmm, bullying is bad, you know. So don't bully anyone, okay? Unless you say "Jesus" before you bully them. Then it's okay, because that's, like, your religious belief and it's okay then. Just say "Jesus" before you beat the gay kid in the locker room. Just say "Jesus" before you make the fat girl kill herself. Just say "Jesus" before you dump the pig's blood on the fake prom queen. Then it's okay. Oops. I forgot to say "Jesus" before I wrote this. But it's okay to say it at the end too. "Jesus." Yeah, that's good.

Elizabeth the Riveter

2011-09-22T19:10:00.000-07:00

Been a long time, kids. Sorry. But Elizabeth Warren said the most goddamn fuckin' amazin' shit thing in American political history since Reagan barfed out "Trickle down! Trickle down!"

But this is a good thing.

So I made her a little present.

Hope she likes it.

On Wisconsin!

2011-03-03T15:53:00.003-08:00

Oh, Wisconsin!

2011-02-11T14:52:00.000-08:00

My home state pride in Wisconsin has slipped again. First they stupidly vote out Sen. Russ Feingold, a true progressive hero and a voice of sanity in the Senate.

Then they elect a crazy man as Governor whose first job is to throw away billions in government money and Wisconsin's chance to have high speed rail connecting it's largest cities with the rest of the country.

Now: Crazy man woke up and decided to roll back worker's rights about a century.

Putting the National Guard on call to quell any possible unrest his decision may cause, new Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker has decided to strip collective bargaining rights from almost all state employees, including (and especially) teachers.

Taking a cue from despots and tyrants everywhere, he is already threatening physical action by armed forces if there is any public unrest over his decision which he hopes to ram through the Republican-controlled state legislature.

I hope you're happy, Wisconsin. You get what you vote for and right now you got a tin-pot dictator who wants to destroy a century of labor progress and turn Wisconsin into a worker's hell, especially if you work for the state.

My one hope - massive and immediate strikes by all concerned. Shut the fucking state down and show the power of labor. Just do it, Wisconsin! Just do it! Kill, Bucky, kill! (Obvious Mario Bava reference, eh?)

Gone But Not Forgotten

2011-02-06T09:19:00.000-08:00

The Gipper is dead! Love live The Gipper!

Much is being written on both sides of the fence right now about Reagan's legacy. I remember it as a divisive legacy that helped foster the culture-war mentality of the right, worked tirelessly to crush unions and the middle class, promoted corporate welfare over welfare for the poor, built huge national debt, aided and abetted right-wing terrorist death squads which killed men, women, children and even nuns in the name of democracy, made ketchup a vegetable and brought covert religious agendas into the heart of Washington.

Pretty much shit for a legacy, I think. The only good thing to come out of the Reagan years was the upsurge of underground art and literature and music that I've always felt was a reaction to the conservative blanket Reagan tried to throw over the country.

So long, Ron. You're not missed.

Long Time, No See

2011-01-27T17:35:00.000-08:00

I ain't dead. Just sleeping until I'm needed by the Republic, in a mountain cave protected by magic unicorns and giant all-seeing sunflower guardians, like all good liberals in waiting.

Actually, I decided to stop blogging and started doing shit. I got involved in real, on-the-ground politics last October right around the time of my 499th post on this blog. Did a bunch of phone banking and door-to-door canvassing and handing out leaflets and stuff I never thought I'd do. Talking to people on porches was fun. Lots of really neat people out there. Even helped organize a progressive political rally. Gave a speech at it too. Fuckin' weird, eh?

But it was fun. It felt good to get off the couch and get the hell out of the house and actually do something. And I've kept doing things since. Not going to go into details, but I'm pretty busy and just seem to be getting busier all the time, working on local politics and issues of importance in my town, trying to help out with my community's hunger needs and just plain hoping to make the little world I live in with my family a better place.

So, kids, if you're bored, feeling aimless, don't know what to do, here's my idea. Get out of the basement, maybe take a shower but at least put on pants, go outside, blink a while - that hot bright thing in the blue thing is the sun, in the sky - walk around the block or down the street and see what's happening. I'm sure there's something that needs doing. I bet you can help do it.

But that doesn't mean I'm done here. This is post 500. I bet I'll get to 1000 someday. Besides, with all the crazy coming out of the woodworks right now in the Republican party, I'd be nuts to stop doing this!

See ya soon, kids! Take care.

Where's My Unicorn?

2010-10-15T09:57:00.000-07:00

The Political Gospel According to Sarah doth say:

"[Democrats] act like they're permanent residents of a unicorn ranch in fantasyland if they really think they're gonna be able to turn it around with the liberal policies they have to continue, and you know, it's pixie dust."

Unicorn ranch? Where the fuck is this? I want my goddamn pink fuzzy unicorn and I want it now!!!

What else are they holding out on us? Jetpacks? Woolly mammoth dishwashers? And they also got pixie dust?

Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! I'm quitting the secret Democratic Fantasy Party immediately if I don't get my unicorn by secret Intertube mail within one hour. One hour, you heard me. Unicorn-holding out bastards.

Who? Me? Tea Party?

2010-10-13T13:59:00.001-07:00

Ultra-billionaire David Koch claims that he has never been involved in the "tea party" movement, never met anyone involved in, doesn't even know what tea is, apparently.

But...

Gosh, that must be an animatronic robot ghost clone monkey of David Koch presiding over a meeting of national reps from the "grassroots" Tea Party that he's never heard of.

Somebody catch that clone!

Mr. Law & Order

2010-10-08T12:34:00.000-07:00

Check it out!

And, tomorrow, David Vitter is going to turn himself in for having illegal sex with prostitutes. He's going to bring his own rope and ask that he just be lynched right away because he can't stand for anyone who breaks the law to go unpunished!

What a guy.

Oh Noes! They Haz Brown Faces!

2010-10-06T13:53:00.000-07:00

No, no, no - the Tea Baggers are not a bunch of sick racist bastards! Why won't anyone listen to me? Why?

Oh, that's why. Sorry. My bad.

Burn, Baby, Burn!

2010-10-04T10:12:00.000-07:00

PROBLEM

The New Republican Vision for America: Pay-to-Play!

House burning down? Did you pay your fire bribe?

Armed robbery at your gas station? Did you pay off your local cops?

Kids want an education? Mbwahahahahahaha! What? Really? Mbwahahahaha! (Oh, you're not kidding?)

There are two visions for America - one in which the general welfare is provided for all by all of us and another in which only those who can afford it have access to...well...everything.

If Republicans and Tea Bag crazyfucktards take control of Congress next month, look for the end of America as we know it. Unless you got the cash.

SOLUTION? GET OFF YOUR ASS AND VOTE!

Feel My Pain? No Thanks

2010-09-30T10:28:00.000-07:00

I really hate Bill Clinton. Hated him while he was President, hate him just as much now, even when he's out purportedly stumping for Obama's policies. More like stumping for his own publicity - he's an attention whore of a high degree. Hate him, yes sir, totally hate him.

Plus, I've never understood the kind of thrall in which he holds so many, especially in the media. The other evening, Chris "Man-Crush" Matthews was drooling about Clinton and bemoaning Obama's inability to be just like Clinton, to get out and emote and slobber and lie about "feeling our pain"! I wanted to feel my fist against Matthews throat before he was done.

Obama, praise be, ain't Clinton. Let's get that straight. Obama ain't perfect, either. I'm not 100% thrilled with every policy direction Obama has taken since January of last year, but for only the second time in my life I feel like this country has a President that thinks before he acts. (Carter was the only other in and I'll always be pro-Carter, no matter how much the Right trashes him, imperfect as he too was as a President). I'll take Obama's measured, thoughtful way over Cowboy George's shoot-the-country-in-the-foot-from-his-hip approach or Clinton's smarmy Demo-Publican touchy-feely bullshit any day. And don't get me started on that bastard Reagan!!!!

Obama is also the hardest working President we've had in generations. He has accomplished an incredible number of legislative feats in the last year, even working against the Party of No. Bush didn't get as much done in eight years as Obama has in less than two, unless you take into account his plunging of the nation into a recession, squandering a trillion-dollar surplus on tax cuts for the wealthy and starting multiple endless wars as accomplishments. And Obama keeps going, despite the opposition, despite the idiocy, despite having to spend way too much of his time fixing his predecessors fuck-ups.

Dang. I didn't mean to go full-bore about Obama. Just wanted to smack Bill Clinton down when I started. Hate that bastard, really hate him.

He Just Doesn't Get It (And He's Not Getting Any Either)

2010-09-29T11:53:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, I found the absolute and total hypocrisy of the right funny as hell. I don't yell, I laugh. Here's the perfect example - James O'Keefe, the lying piece of human garbage that destroyed ACORN with his doctored video tapes (and the complete cooperation of the traditional media and Congress), thought he'd do the same thing with CNN. This time around, his plan was to seduce and sexually blackmail a female CNN reporter who was doing a story on him and other members of the fringe right-media. But it all blew up in his face.

I don't know what to laugh at more. Is it the whole high school sophomore idea of the great seduction which involved a floating pleasure palace, sex toys, hidden cameras and more or is it O'Keefe's delusion that he was attractive enough to seduce a woman. Any woman. Anywhere. Without paying her upfront. And she'd still turn him down and leave with his money.

James O'Keefe is a sexual predator, deeply misogynistic and with an over-inflated ego that will someday yet be his downfall. Maybe this is the time. Let's hope the judge revokes his probation from his last attempt at illegal wire-tapping and B&E. Let's hope he goes behind bars. Maybe some of his sex dreams will finally come true then.

SPOILER ALERT!!!

2010-09-22T13:02:00.000-07:00

If, like me, you enjoy a good alternate history yarn, I'm sure you were on pins and needles for the November 9 release of what has been touted as a total blockbuster in the genre:

Sadly, after receiving an advanced copy, I have to explode the hype. Read on but be aware of spoilers, kids.

Evidently, the plot is about a fictional President of the United States during a time of great crisis and many threats to the nation's identity and very survival. In it's one really good twist, the author claims to be this same President and is presenting the novel as a memoir. Shades of Norman Spinrad and The Iron Dream, eh?

Anyhoo, this President Bush* enters the Oval Office without winning either the popular vote and with a spurious electoral count but is somehow magically installed by the Supreme Court (like that'd ever happen!) Immediately, he begins planning war upon Iraq, ordering his advisors to create a plausible reason for an invasion. Luckily for this President's insane desire to destroy peace in the Middle East for generations and the novel's plot, terrorists attack the United States during the President's first year in office. This gives Bush all the excuse he needs to wage unlimited war on multiple fronts in both Iraq and Afghanistan while also creating secret prisons and torture camps and ramrodding legislation through Congress designed to strip American citizens of their basic liberties in the name of freedom. Unbelievably, the Congress and the American people just go along with all of this, cowed evidently by the massive fear campaign the President creates with the help of his truly evil Vice President, Cheney. (The invention of Cheney is the one good point in this otherwise crap novel; he is evil through and through and how the author created such a villain will forever be a mystery as his main character, himself, is as forgettable as yesterday's news).

I'm not going to give away too much more of the story, though I will tell you that amazingly (and evidently through nefarious means) this President Bush wins a second term in office. Even more amazingly, without possibility of sequel, this President Bush does absolutely nothing to capture the terrorists responsible for the original attacks on the United States! Overall, the plot is ramshackle, hard to digest, harder to believe and make it barely worth giving the book a look-see when it hits your local library, let alone buying a copy. Total fantasy - and not even a good one!

As for the style, let's just say it reads like it was ghost-written. By a real ghost.

And from our Just For Laughs Department, we present a pic of the author snapped at this year's Comic-Con where he COS-played as his alter-ego, Gorgeo the Elf-Mage. The photo is author-submitted and I'm pretty sure he had a lot of fun with Photoshop. Yikes! Who does he think he is?

* I'm wondering if the author is trying to play off the real President Bush - remember him, the guy who beat Clinton in '92 but left office in disgrace after, well, you know all about it and it's just too sordid to repeat here.

No More War! No More War!

2010-09-21T13:57:00.000-07:00

[Above: John Boehner at Woodstock]

The progressive party of peace and love, the Gaia-loving hippies of Congress, won a major battle today. A battle in the war against war.

Yes, Republicans came out loud and strong today and spoke with a strong voice against war and the military industrial complex, hallelujah, hallelujah! Voting to deny money to the nation's military, Republicans (and a few crazy Democrats!) turned their backs on our soldiers and the nation's defense. Never before has the peace-wing of American politics had such a significant victory! Maya Angelou is crying in her beer right now, crying with joy.

Kudos! Bravo! Go, soul sisters!

And make sure you slam that damn door shut on your way out. Don't want teh gays gettin' in here. They might want to redecorate the place. Or join the Army, God forbid.

What They Do When We're Not Looking

2010-09-21T06:58:00.000-07:00

I read the headlines on Daily Kos about voter fraud in Wisconsin and I feared greatly for our democracy. Ohmigod, I thought/screamed, ACORN is back! Images of happy non-white voters legally expressing themselves at the ballot box filled my head - oh, the horror, the horror!!!!

But now I feel better. This time - unlike the imaginary last time - it's just Republicans, Tea Baggers and similar filth planning in detail to subvert the electoral process in Wisconsin, disenfranchise minority voters and rig an election.

No biggie. Because, as we all know, It's Okay If You're A Republican!!!!

Or a white rich male. Same diff.

What's the name of that Metallica album that always comes to mind at times like these? Hmmm....

The Stupid Leading the Blind

2010-09-14T13:51:00.000-07:00

To the anti-Obama, Teabagger-types who've left comments denying racism in their movement, please see the above.

If you don't care to watch the video, it shows a man in an Obama mask on a float full of Teabag crazies (note the well-lettered signs, a dead giveaway). And "The President" is whipping a young white male wearing a t-shirt (again, hand lettered) identifying him as a "Future Tax Payer."

Nope, no racism here. None at all. Just move along. Got a lynching to go to after the parade, doncha know.

Do Teabaggers not support their local t-shirt and sign shops? Don't they like helping out local businesses? They prefer buying posterboard and Sharpies at Walmart? Is it part of their therapy sessions to do craft projects?

And I think the collective age of the folks on that float is actually older than the Universe.

One Good Thing About Republicans

2010-09-02T13:14:00.000-07:00

They say (they, of course, being America's beloved Van Patten family), that if you can't say something good about a person, you shouldn't say anything at all. Or some kind of crap like that.

And today I finally figured out something good to say about Republicans: You can always tell when they are up to no good.

That's a nice thing to say, right? It's a compliment, I think.

How can you tell? Just let them tell you themselves. For instance, if a Republican starts screaming about vote fraud and voter intimidation, then of course he or she is involved in vote fraud and voter intimidation. It's like a cherry on top of a poisoned Sundae when it also involves racism!

Watch this and then read this. These fuckers will stop at nothing to win. They will commit arson, threaten minorities, lie lie lie lie lie and lie again. Fucking Nazis, that's all they are.

How to Beat Republicans in One Easy Lesson

2010-09-02T11:38:00.000-07:00

Lesson One -
Call Them On Their Lies

Thus ends today's lesson. Amen.

Dance Like This and You'll Be All Right!

2010-08-31T09:30:00.000-07:00

Had some great fun this past weekend with a mysterious visitor from the North. Beers, laughter, BBQ, music, fun. Also hit the junk shops for old vinyl and scored a couple of mint Stanley Brothers LPs. Boy howdy! That's good shit, good shit indeed.

Pardon me for indulging my inner hillbilly.

Faking History

2010-08-30T11:07:00.000-07:00

Lying about everything, but especially about history, is a specialty of Glenn Beck.

For example, one of his favorite "expert" guests is the bogus American historian David Barton, perhaps the one individual most responsible for all of the current lies about the Christian origins of our nation. Barton is as sleazy as they come, constantly editing historical documents to suit his own needs and taking them out of context to support his phony supposition that our nation was founded as a Christian nation by Christian leaders, amen, the end.

[For the best expose of Barton, check out Chris Rodda's awesome column over at Talk to Action where she regularly takes the hammer to liars and fools. Her Liars for Jesus is a great antidote to the kind of Christian nation myth the conservatives have been upchucking for the last decade plus.]

And now these lies have even filtered down to the level of t-shirt handy aphorism, as seen above. The religious right loves this George Washington quotation - they use it all of the time to support their fantasies about our history. But...but...it's a lie.Washington never said this. It's not in any of his speeches or letters or any other documents from his life before, during or after his Presidency. And they'll never admit it.

Above is a pic from Beck's Saturday Godapalooza in DC. I hear Jesus returned, flew above the crowd and personally endorsed Beck as his mouthpiece on Earth. Oh, no, sorry, that was a dove shitting on his head. Same difference. Except doves and shit are real and Jesus ain't.

Let Money Ring!

2010-08-27T13:05:00.000-07:00

I got a great troll comment last night about my snarky crap-down of Glenn Beck's upcoming ego-rama event in DC tomorrow. But I'm wondering if the troll who says he/she/it (what gender are trolls?) will be in attendance knows that they are giving their monies first and foremost to Mr. Glenn Beck's pockets and NOT to the charity being ~~horribly abused and used~~ promoted by Beck.

Yup, according to the Restoring Honor website:

"All contributions made to the Special Operations Warrior Foundation (SOWF) will first be applied to the costs of the Restoring Honor Rally taking place on August 28, 2010."

Yeah. What do you wanna bet that the above means SOWF ain't gettin' shit from Beck. They're just getting shit on. Poor fuckers.

We're Not Hitchhiking Anymore!!!

2010-08-26T19:16:00.000-07:00

Advance Copy of Glenn Beck's Bullet Point Speech (with stage directions)

[Put vinegar in eyes to stimulate tear ducts]

[Enter - by golden jet pack]

Cry.
Talk crazy about shit.
Cry.
More crazy-ass shit talk.
Cry.
Speak in tongues.
Cry.
And now a word from our sponsor Goldline.
Cry.

[Exit - on ebony palanquin carried by Nubian slaves]

[Count fuckin' huge mounds of cash taken from duped rubes and fools]

[Laugh at rubes and fools all night long while returning to my mansion in my private jet]

The Shitbird Has Landed

2010-08-26T12:42:00.000-07:00

I've been renewing my spiritual self in a cave in Mongolia for a few months and have returned to America with cleansed body, mind and vision, ready to enjoy the post-racial eco-utopia that I was sure I'd find, full of solar cars, wind farms, organic rooftop gardens, mosques built within Jewish temples and both built inside Catholic churches and run by Buddhist monks and gay Baptist preachers, while choirs of white, black, yellow, red, pink, brown, mauve and gray sang socialist worker songs in praise of universal health care and the end of war.

And I find this.

Fuck me. I'm back to the cave. Screw you all later.

My Line in the Sand

2010-06-01T10:02:00.000-07:00

I've had it with him. No more Mr. Nice Monkey! Obama - I'm calling you out!

Not only did you spend Memorial Day drunkenly urinating on the graves of our heroic soldiers while rapping "The Internationale", or so I imagine, but now this...this outrage!

Check out the picture, kids, this is what our high and mighty President likes to do on his day off - hit little girls! Little white girls! And because he's "The President," this poor little girl's parents have to smile and pretend to like it! (Or take a bullet in the head from the Secret Service agents who had their laser-sights on them the whole time...I imagine).

Look at how he's about to slap her face! See how she raises her lily-white hand to ward off his aggression! Pretend what I'm saying is true! Aauugghhh!!!! Double-aauugghhh!

Go back to Kenya, Mr. President, or whatever phony country you really came from (there's no such place as Kenya, is there?). Leave America alone! Stopping hitting us! Stop hitting us! Why won't you stop hitting us!!!

The New Crazy

2010-05-28T11:04:00.000-07:00

I've been bin-diving the crazy online for a long time now, always trying to keep my itchy finger on what's driving the fringe, and one thing that hasn't changed in years is the über-far-right conspiracy mania over government surveillance of us all ("They watch us poop! And they know what you ate last night, too!") and the ever-present, ever-popular BLACK HELICOPTERS!

Gotta love them black helicopters, man, that's a classic.

But now,tThe teabagger/wingnut/libercrazians have finally done it - inverted their own sense of reality, turning themselves inside out to pull the last bit of crazy into the light of day.

Current TC (Top Crazy), Rand Paul, son of famous former TC, Ron, is now begging the big scary government to watch us from the skies - and to send in the helicopters!!!

Wow. It's a philosophic reality flip-flop of incredible dimensions, kids. I bet tachyons are leaking from RP's toenails over this one. Space and time are ripping! C'thulhu is rising! Children are being born today speaking fluent Esperanto, the old are aging backwards, John McCain is acting honorably and Rahm Emanuel has stopped swearing...for Lent!

All I can say is "Congratulations!" And Philip K. Dick would be proud.

The Dirty Diaper Theory of Free Market Baby

2010-05-21T10:30:00.000-07:00

Overall, my opinion of Libertarians (thanks for asking, by the way), has been one of non-committal, reluctant acceptance of their existence. While I like some of the basic libertarian ideas regarding individual rights they have, they tend to take everything to an extreme. Especially if it involves property and property rights.

Why do they fetishize property rights so much? Things and what one is allowed to do with things are of over-arching concern to Libertarians. I find this especially confusing because in the United States, at least, the classical definition of libertarianism has for much of the 20th century been hip-joined to socialism. Very anti-thing, if ya know what I mean.

But somewhere along the way, libertarianism met capitalism and had a baby called the free market. This greedy little baby requires unlimited resources and zero restrictions on its growth to survive.

"FEED ME!!!" screams this bastard child!

"DON'T FENCE ME IN!!!" it hollers.

"I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU IF YOU GET IN MY WAY" it cries.

It cries so hard and so long that we come to believe what it is saying. We fear that if we stop feeding it everything it wants, stop giving in to its demands, try to reign in its unimpeded growth, the world as we know it will come to an end.

Bullshit.

It's time to put the baby on a diet, kids. Time to pull the feeding tubes and make a great big double-duty belt - for tightening around its waist as much for beating it when it whines.

And the next time baby decides to shit all over us, maybe we'll have a diaper ready. We can't let the fat little bastard run around pantless anymore. It's time for baby to grow up. Or die.

Arizona is Mr. Burns!

2010-05-19T10:01:00.000-07:00

Arizona has lowered the national IQ by half. We're now at 25, folks. And getting lower every minute. Soon, Amerka won't be able to walk and chew gum at the same time. Amerka won't be able to sit and chew gum. Even Velcro won't help us keep our shoes on.

Arizona has gone Mr Burns on Los Angeles! They're gonna take away their "electrons" for being all uppity in AZ's face about their racist/fascist (you say "idiot" and I say "idjit") new ~~Braun Volk~~ Brown Folk Suppression Law of ~~1939~~ 2010.

Somedays it really is worth waking up, when you can spend your day laughing at dipshits and nimrods like this. Thank you, Arizona! And good luck with them electrons!

Jesus M. Christ (The "M" is for Marxist)!

2010-05-11T13:56:00.000-07:00

I ever tell ya'all about two of my favorite TV shows and why they are favorites?

What, you ask, are they? What does the 'monkey love so much: The Beverly Hillbillies and Columbo.

They could hardly be more different at first glance, I know. One a sitcom about hillbillies in Beverly Hills - what? How crazy can that be? (Will someone please tell the Palin family that it's not a documentary). And the other a detective drama about starring a glass-eyed slob?

But when one looks closer, one sees the commonalities. Of course, both are set in Los Angeles, more or less. And both are about class warfare.

Yes, yes they are. As they say on all the wingnut and freeper blogs, just give me a chance and follow me on this... (I love it when I find a blog post that starts like that - it's straight to crazy town from thereon in!)

First, Columbo is the salt-of-the-earth working glass schmuck who is also the worst nightmare of every murdering high-class rich sumbitch. They all think they are smarter and better than him, they all look down on him, they all treat him like crap and threaten him - and in the end, always smiling, he sends them all to jail. (Occasionally, the murderer is not wealthy, merely class-conscious or extraordinarily self-centered and egotistic, but they all treat Columbo the same).

Everyone's favorite hillbillies are always playing the class card, too. In fact, without it, the show would suck. The juxtaposition of earnest, decent, caring, formerly poorer than dirt Jed and family with the vacuous and the greedy of Beverly Hills and Hollywood is the greatest little class-conscious morality play ever. There's never been an American TV show that better exposes the enormous divide between the wealthy and the poor than the Beverly Hillbillies.

This all came to mind today while I was reading this excellent little essay about Jesus and his love for the poor. My Smart Wife and I were just talking about this, too; about the lack of caring for the poor and the out and downcast that so many Christians we know can apparently justify with their "faith" in Jesus. And we don't get it. But this smart fella nails it pretty good, as far as I'm concerned. He even makes me want to re-read the New Testament. Been a while...

Americans Go Home!

2010-04-30T10:06:00.000-07:00

Rep. Duncan Hunter's on the right track, let me tell you, brother! Send 'em all home! Send 'em back to where they belong! Send 'em back to where they were born, hallelujah!

Meaning, of course, round-up and deport the naturalized by birth children of illegal immigrants. Who are, by law, citizens of the United States of America.

Rep. Hunter is a deep thinker, evidently. Because he tells us that being American is something in "our souls." Though I think he misspoke and meant to say "our skins." As in our "lily, pasty, mayo-white skins."

I guess Rep. Hunter has never read the Constitution. There's a thing in there called the Fourteenth Amendment that specifically guarantees citizenship to children born on American soil. (Even John McCain is technically a US citizen, though he wasn't born on American soil, but just to two American parents. Go figure!)

How retroactive does Rep. Hunter want to go on this issue? Why, I bet there's a passel of gray-hairs out there who are the children of early-20th century illegals who were born here, worked here, payed taxes here, voted here and assumed for their entire lives that they were Americans. Until now. Because it's not in their souls. Time to round 'em up and ship 'em out! Back to where they came from...America?

* * *

CONTEXTUALIZATION - Section 1 of the Fourteenth Amendment

“ Section 1. All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside. No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.”

So, reading the above, we can only assume that the first time some pointy-headed Nazi Sheriff in Arizona (lookin' at you, Arpaio, you brown-shirted thug!) arrests and deports a Constitutionally-naturalized child of an illegal immigrant, he's in big trouble. Let's hope.

Bondage Family Values

2010-03-29T14:43:00.000-07:00

Republicans are the gift that keeps on giving. You think they can't possibly get more messed up, more stupid, more hypocritical...but they can! And they do!

Of course, it helps when you have a PR-wiz like Michael Steele in charge of your national party machine. What, you say, what has Steele done now?

Nothin' much, just $2000 worth of wining and dining good old-fashioned Christian Republican donors at lesbian bondage strip clubs. Just good clean lesbian bondage strip-club family value fun, that's all! Did I mention the lesbian bondage strip club?

I know my newest troll won't believe any of this because he or she apparently doesn't believe anything in the media, but for those who want more laughs, check out this and this. It's so sweet it's schadenfreude-a-licious!

Does this matter? No. But it's freakin' funny as hell! It'll mean nothing to the brainwashed rightwing true believers. I mean, the wingnut brigade out there is still incensed about Obama's feet being on his own desk in his own office, for pete's sake! For some reason, it bothers them when the black man does it. Though when the white men did it, they were fine. Explain........waiting......nothing? Still nothing? Trying to find someway to say it's wrong without admitting you're a racist?

It's okay. I can wait. I'll just put my feet up on my desk...

UPDATE! BREAKING! Steele innocent! Or so he says. And I guess because he says so we gotta believe him, because when a Republican says something it's always true. Just ask Nixon.

SUPER-DUPER UPDATE! TOTALLY BROKEN! Steele FIRES staff member who digs lesbian bondage strip-club family fun time! Way to man up and take responsibility, Mike! You're the man! Are you going to fire yourself for that Hawaiian resort snafu next?

Oh...I cannot stop laughing about this. I really can't. I just hope they don't fire Mike because he's the surest path to victory for Dems in 2010. And we know he won't resign, so it's pink slip or nothing for him. If there's ever been a Republican values poster boy, it's Steele: unwilling to take responsibility for any action of his own or his subordinates (to whom we can only assume he sets the role model for behavior), lavishly out of touch with reality, dumb as a brick and mule-stubborn. It's like they cloned Bush's brain!

Trolls!

2010-03-26T08:30:00.000-07:00

Holy Zombie Jesus!

Trolls! I've got trolls! Scary, name-calling anonymous trolls! Eeeeeeeeeeeeek!

Yes, We Did

2010-03-25T06:28:00.000-07:00

This would only be a better video if they spliced in a clip from Scanners at the end...you know...exploding head-time.

Poor Boehner. I bet he thought he looked so courageous and filled with moral outrage.

All he really did was look like a jack-o-lantern throwing a tantrum.

In all seriousness, though, I do think Pumpkinhead represents something tangible here. He's the face of people afraid of losing their privilege and power, afraid of history and change, afraid of everything that doesn't look just like himself in the mirror. No wonder the neo-Nazis are feeling so liberated these days. Guys like Pumpkinhead are now publicly channeling all their sick masturbatory racial fear fetishes, right on the floor of the United States Congress. Good job, Johnny. Better hope they don't blame you for not stopping Obama. They turn easily.

All the Way to the Bank

2010-03-22T19:49:00.000-07:00

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

I was screaming at Man-Crush Matthews when this was originally aired. I frightened the cats, I was so loud, so angry. I couldn't believe his arrogance during this interview.

Watching it again, I realized that it's not arrogance but fear. He doesn't understand the world anymore. Bloggers and the scary "netroots" are out there miles ahead of him, figuring out what's going in Washington and elsewhere and leaving his pasty old ass behind.

Beautiful. Matthews is about as useful as John McCain these days. I hope everyone at MSNBC sent him an email link to this today, to piss on his parade. But he probably doesn't do email. The Intertubes scare him.

Time to Switch?

2010-03-21T10:13:00.000-07:00

QUESTION YOURSELF: If you are a Republican, can you support the party that thinks it is a reasonable thing for protestors to call members of the opposition party by foul racist and sexual slurs?

Think about it. That's exactly what Republican spokes-troll Rep. Devin Nunes of California thinks, speaking as a member of the party this morning in response to the sick verbal abuse inflicted by Tea-Baggers yesterday on Rep. Barney Frank and Rep. John Lewis.

Nunes actual words:

“When you use a totalitarian tactics, people, you know, begin to act crazy,” Nunes told C-SPAN’s Steve Scully Sunday morning when asked about the slurs. “I think that people have every right to say what they want. If they want to smear someone they can do it. It’s not appropriate--I think I would stop short of characterizing the 20,000 people protesting, that all of them were doing that.”

"Not appropriate" are the strongest words of condemnation Nunes can come up with.

Well. Okay. Then. By that standard, I guess it's perfectly okay to slander David Nunes as an illiterate, self-abusing, corpse-eating, Satan-worshiping, porn-addicted, wife-beating, dope-smoking flat-Earther. And charter member of NAMBLA.

Sorry. Yeah. That's going too far. Scratch "illiterate."

(John Lewis, BTW, is a heckuva nice guy and real American hero who was savagely beaten in 1961 in Montgomery while marching to end racial discrimination in this country. Fuck you if think otherwise. Barney Frank if you don't know is the second openly gay member of Congress and while I think he should occasionally think before speaking - as smart and amusing as he can be - I bet Frank would probably speak up in defense of a toad like Nunes if he were similarly abused by Democratic protestors. Again, fuck you...Seriously, I just don't care if you have an opposing opinion on this subject. I really don't.)

Rock Hard - RIP (Repost)

2010-03-18T12:43:00.000-07:00

Alex Chilton - Live at Berkeley Square, Berkeley, CA (6-22-85) 1 & 2
Alex Chilton - Live at the VFW Hall, Baton Rouge, LA (9-27-85) 1
Alex Chilton - Live at The Heartbreak Hotel, Languedoc, France (5-7-86) 1 & 2

March 18, 2010 - I heard the news today. First story on NPR when the alarm went off, I think it was. First I noticed. My eyes shot open when the announcer said "Alex Chilton..." because I knew it couldn't be anything good that was going to follow. I was still shocked when she actually said it, though. My Smart Wife and I both gasped and said "Oh, no!" at the same time. I think I swore too.

Thanks for everything Alex. I'm actually tearing up typing this. You've brought a lot of joy into our home and our hearts. Thanks for everything.

The following was originally posted here on February 16, 2009.

Like so much of the music that hit me right between my eyes and somehow also pierced my heart in my Golden Youth, Alex Chilton's came to me via a tape made by Oldest Brother. He put Bach's Bottom and Like Flies on Sherbert on it with some Cramps to fill 'er out. I didn't know what in the hell I was hearing, but it struck me as being somewhere between madness and brilliance in the giddy, throw myself at the walls way it made me feel. It was a new language to me, alien in its raw blueness and its lowdown drunken heartbeats. I didn't know how to hear this stuff. (A few years later Oldest Brother and the 'monkey had too many beers and spent a night singing - nay, screaming - along to "Take Me Home and Make Me Like It" in the kitchen of the apartment we shared).

And then Chilton had his 80s renaissance and not only was he recording but touring - huzzah! High Priest became a party album and a point of commonality between me and my friends who came to music via a different path (non-punk, classic rock and blues). And Chilton live was an awesome thing. I've never stopped hearing his totally wacked and extended solo on "Volare" from one of his O'Cayz gigs. My Smart Wife and I still go all glassy-eyed when we talk about it. (And if you are out there, guy who was next to me at that show, guy who had microphones on his baseball cap and wires going down into his shirt- release your tape! If the tape self-destructed, unable to contain such beauty, you are forgiven. If you are dead, you are forgiven. Otherwise, I will find you and you will pay for keeping this from the world for so long!)

Saw Chilton in Middleton, Wisconsin in 2000 at The Hotel which I think is gone now, probably an apartment building or something. Sweet show. Got all fanboy and asked for his autograph. He was a gentleman for sure. This was just before or after the show at Schuba's that's passed around a lot in trading circles. I don't recommend that show; the sound sucks. These kind of tinny, raw tapes from the 80s are much better. They really capture Chilton live.

Enjoy! Buy shit!

Postscript: I just found this on the YouTube...and it reminds me of the Chilton I loved. A total wise-ass! This has to be the very worst lip-synching job in history. And check out what the keyboard player is doing! Alex does manage to look cool even when his mouth isn't open and he's still magically singing.

Cry, Baby, Cry

2010-03-17T10:22:00.000-07:00

Ahem. Cough, cough. Testing - 1, 2, 3 - Is this thing on?

To all the sorry-ass Republicans and Tea Bagging cretins - I have an economy-sized box of tissues for each and every one of you for when health care reform is passed into law. I know you'll need it. Only $50 bucks each, though I may have to deny snot-coverage to some based solely on my own tyrannical whims.

You're a bunch of whining, crying losers and your tears will flow like acid rain. I hope they burn as much too.

It's painfully obvious that you know you're going to lose this battle. And that by losing it, you are ensuring a Democratic majority in the Congress again after 2010 and probably a second term for Obama.

That's gotta hurt.

Scream treason, cry foul, have a tantrum, throw a fit, get drunk, drive off a cliff - do whatever you want to do, because it won't matter after health care reform becomes the law of the land. You're dead. You're meat.

Looking forward to the funeral, folks.

American Blues

2010-02-24T07:31:00.000-08:00

I called Senator Dick Durbin today to press his office staff on his position regarding HCR and the "Public Option." I wasn't expecting them to tell me anything new and they didn't, but I asked them to put my remarks down and pass them on to wherever they get passed. (Can you say "paper shredder"? I knew you could).

I know I'm a liberal commie American-hating progressive socialist double-liberal freak. Always have been. It's just the way television made me, I guess. (Thanks, Archie! Thanks, Hawkeye! Thank you, Cookie Monster!)

BUT...I cannot understand why having a public health insurance option available to the American people would upset anyone at all. Excepting the gold and diamond dust encrusted CEO's of our beloved corporate health insurance providers. May Raptor Jesus bite them all with his blessings!

One example: I spent two hours recently consoling the damaged parent of one of my students who has done nothing but try to do good by his family, including moving from one state to another to take care of aging parents (leaving two good jobs, his and his wife's, in the process), because he felt that was what one does when family needs you.

Misfortune befell him and his family though. Unexpected illness and accidents struck both elderly parents and they are in a care facility now and probably for the rest of their lives.

They didn't have the right kind of insurance to cover this situation because they couldn't afford the right kind of insurance to cover this situation.

Now, every penny of the household income, including the savings of the grandparents, is going to pay for the care facility. And the wife of the man who just wanted to help his parents like a good son should - she has been disabled by an accident and will not be able to work for many, many months.

They are broke. They are desperate. They are slowly crumbling beneath the weight of the world. And all of that would be different if we had a public health and care insurance option available. Those with need would no longer suffer.

My America doesn't want people to suffer. My America wants people to prosper. My America doesn't let you live if you are rich and die if you are poor. My American gives a damn.

How about your America?

PS - I forgot to mention another vile horde that would be upset by a public option in health care - our for-profit hospital system! They probably stand to lose more instant revenue than the insurance companies do, if they are force to control their costs.

None Dare Call It Treason

2010-02-19T10:33:00.000-08:00

ABOVE: Governor Tim Pawlenty seconds before being delivered a vicious series of noogies by a bunch of really smart kids. It's for your own good, Governor; take it like man.

There's really not much more to say about how completely out of touch, heartless and totally fucked the Republican party is today that can't be summed up by this quote from Governor Tim Pawlenty.

"Take a nine iron and smash a window out of big government."

Pawlenty said that this morning. This morning. Yeah.

Only one day after a crazed "domestic terrorist" did his damndest to try and kill hundreds of federal employs by crashing his plane into an IRS building.

Gov. Pawlenty: You are a worthless piece of shit. A "retard" of the highest order, to quote the great Rush Limbaloney. To even use such a metaphor as an elected official, is reprehensible. Yes, I understand it's supposed to be a catchy, hip reference to Tiger Woods, about a month too late for it too really be catchy or hip. Doesn't matter. It's one thing for a crapmaster like Grover Norquist, who's never held office in his life, to use a drowning-baby metaphor to describe his fetishes about the size of government, but it's another thing entirely for the governor of a state to do so. In fact, I call it treason.

Oh, I know, that one man's treason is another man's witty remark, but it's always only okay if you are a Republican, isn't it? If a Democrat had said the same thing during the Reign of Bush the Second, a call would have went out for his or her head, for a hanging, a lynching, a firing squad at dawn!

Damn, but this crap makes me so tired.

Old Mother Hubbard Went to the Undertakers...And Didn't Come Back

2010-02-02T10:33:00.000-08:00

IDIOTS.

His Razor Sharp Blessings Be Upon You All

2010-01-29T10:19:00.000-08:00

I just passed my 450th post on this blog - and it was about Hogan's Heroes. Sweet. Didn't even plan that. Just happened.

Life is good.

And it's even better now because nutjob anti-abortion crazy killer Scott "He's just like Martin Luther King, Jr!" Roeder has been found guilty of murder by a jury of his peers.

In only thirty-seven minutes.

Roeder's lunatic-fringe fellow-haters are already threatening violence over the decision.

What was that, Negativland? What about Christianity?

There's Always Room For Jello!

2010-01-29T07:15:00.001-08:00

Even when you've been imprisoned by Nazis.

(And space is very dirty, we all know, at any temperature!)

The State of the Union Address - A Considered Review

2010-01-28T06:37:00.000-08:00

He said our name! Obama said our name! He said "Galesburg, Illinois"!

Yeah, us! Yeah!!!

That's when I lost consciousness. Anything else happen?

Red Scare Reduxulous

2010-01-26T11:26:00.000-08:00

Thanks, Texas. You've given me one more reason to be ashamed of my chosen profession. As if being ashamed that you were ever let into the Union isn't enough...too bad they really don't have the right to secede that they think they do.

You're probably aware that the Texas Board of Education is the most powerful group of educational nitwits in the nation. Since they buy so many textbooks, they practically dictate the content of them for the whole country.

But besides being uptight, overzealous, small-minded, warped and fracked conservative creeps of the highest order, they are also Grade A Morons.

Their latest kooky escapade? Banning the classic and beloved children's book Brown Bear, Brown Bear by Bill Martin. Why? Because Bill Martin also wrote a book about - gasp! - Marxism - double gasp!!

Except he didn't. Different Bill Martin. Gasp?

And they don't have the brass ones to change their minds and correct their mistakes. All they can do is point fingers and run in circles and eventually fall in a heap on the ground with those fingers stuck up some very naughty places, I'm sure, because that's where they were pulled from to begin with.

I really pity those poor kids in Texas if this is what passes for educational leadership there. And it is.

Caution - Lairs @ Work

2010-01-25T06:46:00.000-08:00

Make sure you wrap an Ace bandage tightly around your head or after you watch the Liars @ Work above you'll end up like this:

Wasn't Scanners cool?

See Kendra! See Kendra Play!

2010-01-24T08:06:00.000-08:00

Check it out - live Dream Syndicate footage with Kendra on bass!

Won't let me embed. So many things wrong with that sentence. Sigh.

Spawning Time

2010-01-13T11:40:00.000-08:00

The New Disease has split itself in two, kids.

No more music here. Only jibber and probably jabber.

For music, you'll have to go over to Nothin' But Neil (Young). If you want live Neil Young. That's all I'm posting there. That and midnight love letters to Neil.

I've been pondering a change of direction for a long time and decided this is the time. I'll be posting one or two complete Neil shows, in FLAC format, every week. NO MP3s!!! If you want MP3s, you can do the magic downgrading after you get the FLAC files.

I got me a funky new template that I like because it's clean and simple and kinda looks like a magazine. I'm also pushing Neil-ware via Amazon. Download the bootleg - buy an album! (I can't force you, but I do encourage you to).

Please stop by, let me know how you feel about it, don't freakin' whine because I'm using Rapishare because I don't give a shit about it, and enjoy the tunes.

Once a Quitter...

2009-12-19T07:58:00.000-08:00

Always a quitter!

Sarah Palin even quits her own vacation!

Bwahahahahahahahahaha! Bwahahahahahahahahaha! Bwahahahahahahahahaha!

I guess someone forgot to tell her that only elitist socialist America-haters vacation in our 50th state.

I'm going to be sick; this is too funny.

He's Baaaack!

2009-12-18T11:27:00.000-08:00

Funnier than The Onion! More deluded than Red State! Able to leap wild rings around logic and intelligent thought!

It's....Jesus? Again???

Give Me an "F"!!!

2009-12-18T09:56:00.000-08:00

American traitor, Sen. Jim Inhofe (R-Okla.), flew bravely across the big scary ocean in a shiny warm aeroplane, with a bunch of his closest aides - evidently people who help Sen. Jim Inhofe (R-Okla.) breathe and tie his shoes - to a widdle-biddle teeny-weeny northern country this week.

Why? We dunno. Except that he thinks someone is pulling his leg about science things. And he likes to look like a big man.

Sadly, no one paid any attention to him and the couple of reporters who wandered by during his "speech" spent more time trying to figure out how to spell his name than report on what he said.

One "F" or two? I know what "F" I'm giving him. And it's a big one.

--------

Less snarkily, if a Democratic Senator had done something similar while Bush reigned supreme, going to another country where our President was speakifying importantly, just to slam his policies and take our internal politics across outside our borders...well, he or she would have been crucified by the right and the Rethuglicans and the media would have spent days reacting in horror.

Today, as my trolls like to say, crickets. IOKIYAR, ain't it. At least one thing never changes.

Is There a Doctor in the House?

2009-12-04T13:55:00.000-08:00

With all the brouhaha about "health care reform," I thought maybe we could all use some real doctoring...

Plus, I just bought a bunch of vintage late 60s issues of Strange Tales (including this beauty below) at a junk shop for a buck each and have been lovin' the livin' daylights out of them!

Did anyone besides me watch this back in 1978? I remember loving and hating it because it was so cool that there was the possibility of a Dr. Strange TV series (this was supposed to be the pilot, really) but the tight 'fro on the guy playing the Dr. looked too sitcom-bit-player and not awesome scary magic guy-ish. That hair really pissed me off.

Hello, Larry!

2009-10-31T11:46:00.001-07:00

When's Lawrence O'Donnell getting his own show? This clip is awesome - he puts his boot so far up the entire lying Cheney family's collective butt Lawrence will have to have it amputated at the hip to free himself.

Orange You Glad...

2009-10-30T12:00:00.000-07:00

Transcript:

"No time to read the big long bill of many pages, but it's trash. And we can do better. You just wait! We'll show you! Really, we will. Seriously. Next week...Can I go now?"

I love the enthusiasm in his voice. He's already thinking of the tanning bed.

Holy Health Care, Batman!

2009-10-30T06:43:00.000-07:00

I keep getting Rep. Alan Grayson confused with boy-wonder and nighttime pajama-wearing superhero Dick Grayson. Mom should never have put the B&W in the crib, I guess.

C heck out new superhero Grayson speaking truth in Congress. I think the walls shook a bit at the unexpected introduction of reality.

And here's a freebie idea for DC-area fans of Grayson, the truth and health-care reform:

Get the names of the dead lost to lack of health care and go to Congress and politely walk along-side every entering and exiting member of Congress - Republican and Democrat, Senator and Representative - and read their names aloud.

Don't harass, don't yell, don't scream. Just politely and firmly read their names. Let them be remembered. Let their deaths not be in vain.

Remind the bastards that this is literally about life and death and it's their responsibility as our elected leaders to do something about it.

Honor Past Due

2009-10-29T14:45:00.000-07:00

I'd like to propose a Constitutional Amendment:

"The President of the United States of America shall be required to personally honor every citizen-soldier fallen in the service of his or her country during that President's term of office. Such act will include but not be limited to the President's presence at the return of the physical remains of every soldier to American soil. There shall be no exceptions."

President Obama took responsibility this morning for his actions. George Bush never had the guts to do this.

How will the right attack him for it? Let us count the ways....

A Rep for That

2009-10-18T09:42:00.000-07:00

Before Your Eyes...

2009-10-10T09:03:00.000-07:00

Open this in multiple windows and hit play over and over again, waiting a random amount of time between the start of each play.

Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

Have a nice weekend!

And One for Barry White

2009-10-09T04:11:00.000-07:00

Just another affirmative action notch in Barry Obama's belt this morning, kids - a stupid Nobel Prize for Peace.

You know what this means, right? Conspiracy. You know it and you should fear it! Today, the Nobel Prize committee conspired with the NWO Party Planning committee and the Never Give a White Guy a Break Breakfast Club to take our country away!

By country, of course, I mean Norway. Barry's now hoodwinked the Norwegians! Can you believe it - the Norwegians! Those poor, pale people. What did they ever do to him, besides being born pink and probably very cold.

AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH! DOUBLE-AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH! MORE EXCLAMATION POINTS AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!

This morning's blog post has been brought to you by the Demon Alliance of Glenn Beck's Head. If you've enjoyed the Demon Alliance of Glenn Beck's Head, please take a moment to express your appreciation. Thank you!

The Eternal Lie

2009-10-07T12:32:00.000-07:00

"Guns don't kill people..."

Right, it's people who illegally sell guns to people who can't legally buy them that kill people!

Gun Control. Now.

And just shut the hell up to all you crazy-ass right to bear arms freaks. We've had the discussion before. You lost as far as I'm concerned. Won't have it again.

What Would Cyborg Pirate Ninja Jesus Do?

2009-10-06T04:36:00.001-07:00

It's like Christmas, the presents just keep coming.

Now, the folks what are always telling us that every word of The Bible is literal, unchanging truth and should be adhered to like glue...are rewriting The Bible. Or at least the part that matters, the one with Jeebus in it. See, it's too liberal and they need to make it more conservative.

Stop laughing! I'm serious! Really, hahahahahaha they are hahahahahahaha rewriting hahahahahaha The hahahahahahaha Bible!

Just like Jefferson did. I'm sure. I bet they're going to create a humanist text revealing the core philosophy of Christ, stripping out every reference to the divinity of Christ and the supernatural (miracles, etc) and get back to the basic message of the King of Peace!

Well, amen, I say! Hallelujah! Right on, brothers and sisters!

Oh, this just in. The word "peace" will no longer be in the Jeebus Part. Here's Rule #4 these Think-O-Maniacs came up with:

4. Utilize Powerful Conservative Terms: using powerful new conservative terms as they develop;[4] defective translations use the word "comrade" three times as often as "volunteer"; similarly, updating words which have a change in meaning, such as "word", "peace", and "miracle".

I'm gonna be sick. Hahahahahahahahahahahapuke.

[Can someone 'splain to me, please, what's wrong with "miracle"? I get "word" - it's got "urban" ie black connotations now. Jeebus didn't like the black folks, we all know. And "peace" has been all crazied up by people who want, uh, peace in the world. Bastards! Stoopid liberals ruining a perfectly good word - um, I mean, collection of letters representing an idea or thing or action. But "miracle"? My money is on a fracked-up association with homosexuality but I'm probably wrong. What am I missing? "Miracle on ice"? Do conservatives hate hockey too?]

UPDATE: Here's what Conservapedia says on the "librul outrage" over their proposed bastardization of the Good Book:

Liberal hypocrisy anyone? In their condemnation of the Conservative Bible Translation Project, the critics have forgotten their praise for last year's "Green Bible", an eco-friendly edition made from recycled paper, processed soy ink, and the words of nature - not Christ - in green.

Gosh. I never thought of it like that. Printing some words in an edition of The Bible in green while others are not in green is EXACTLY like editing it to conform to your twisted, hateful, mean-spirited, homophobic, racist, sexist political agenda! Exactly. No difference. Libruls is stoopid.

UPDATE DOS: I'm so seriously amused by this, I can't stop reading about it or sharing it. Here's the Conservapedia timeline on accomplishing their exalted mission:

How long would this project take? There are about 8000 verses in the New Testament. At a careful rate of translating about four verses an hour, it would take one person 2000 hours, or about one year working full time on the project.

So, if they get, like, 2000 dedicated conservative Bible-istas, they can have this whole thing done in ONE hour!

By the power of Grayskull! Bastardize thine Holiest of Holies!

Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!

LAST UPDATE (PROMISE!): In the midst of all my rabid amusement over this stunning announcement, I missed this example of the type of change they intend to inflict on the New Testament, which actually tempers my pleasure somewhat (from the Conservapedia project page):

First Example - Liberal Falsehood

The earliest, most authentic manuscripts lack this verse set forth at Luke 23:34:^[7]

Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing."

Is this a liberal corruption of the original? This does not appear in any other Gospel, and the simple fact is that some of the persecutors of Jesus did know what they were doing. This quotation is a favorite of liberals but should not appear in a conservative Bible.

Really. Seriously. They are removing as liberal propaganda one of the loveliest and most touching verses in the New Testament, a line that has always made me stop and think about how I treat other human beings, about how my own ignorance can hurt others and how I need to temper my anger and slow my wrath and stop being as critical as I know I can be without knowledge of another's heart (everywhere except on this blog, of course). A line, too, that in the King James is one of the sweetest sounding verses to ever roll from human lips. The cadence and sonority of "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do" makes me weep, it is so lovely. It's a poem in and of itself.

And doesn't it seem like they are praising the executioners of Christ while putting down Jesus at the same time? Assuming an historical personage like Jesus Christ ever existed, of course. Which I doubt. What are we looking at here? Did Nancy Pelosi invent a time machine, travel back about 2000 years and somehow manage - with the vast knowledge of ancient Middle Eastern languages one must assume she has, as the Anti-Christ's Playmate - to sneak this totally anachronist crazy liberal verse into a draft version of Luke? It's very strange, very WTF.

But why? Well, by comparison why is pretty easy to understand. See my previous post. This is the New Christianity at work. A Christianity without pity. Without compassion. Without love. Everything else, I guess, is just fear.

Blessed Be the Dicks

2009-10-04T07:07:00.001-07:00

Michael Moore has a diary post up on DailyKos this morning, about his faith and Jesus and capitalism. In sum, he writes that Jesus wouldn't approve of capitalism because it sacrifices the poor for the benefit of the wealthy. And I think he's fundamentally right about this.

Problem is, that's an outdated and sadly old-fashioned view of Christianity that Michael's carrying around. He needs to get hip, get now, get with the program!

The NEW Christianity says fuck the poor. Jesus only loves you if you are rich. Jesus only cares about you if you are powerful. Jesus will welcome you at the gates of Heaven himself, but only if you accrue wealth and power and abuse the privileges of such to the fullest during your mortal life span. The poor and the powerless, being poor and powerless, have no right to pity or mercy or the blessings of God. If they did, they'd be rich and powerful. Ergo...

I'm not making this up out of whole cloth, kids. This is modern-age Christianity - circa 1935 on. Read The Family and you'll finally be able to understand why the wealthy and powerful seem like such dicks. Because they think they have the right be to be dicks. The heavenly right to be dicks. The heavenly right to do whatever they want, damn the consequences, because there are no consequences. Screw morality! Screw ethics! In fact, there are no morals or ethics to screw in the New Christianity, because morals and ethics are the petty rules of the poor and powerless and Old Christianity, meant to constrain the rich and powerful and prevent them from heedlessly trampling upon the poor and powerless. (Does your head hurt yet?) Therefore they must and can be safely ignored in the pursuit of wealth and power. 'Cuz Jesus say so.

"Blessed be the dicks."

So ends the sermon for this Sunday, October 4, in the year of His Blessed Savageness, 2009. Amen and go with Raptor Jesus! May his teeth shine light upon the wicked in the darkness and his claws rend justice unto the deserving!

Best Band Ever!

2009-10-02T18:43:00.000-07:00

Grandma! Where Ya Been?

2009-10-01T18:55:00.001-07:00

SUPER COOL SCIENCE NEWS
More old monkey bones discovered!

Thank you, Science, for kicking in the teeth of creationism once again. You're a pal.

The Haters Keep On Hating

2009-09-29T13:55:00.001-07:00

Why do the Democrats hate America? Why do they believe that the health of corporate persons* is more important than the health of real flesh and blood Americans? Why do they constantly kowtow to the childish whining of Republicans?

In the Senate today, a bunch of mealy, sad, pathetic Democrats sided with a bunch of Republicans today to shut down a fiscally responsible public option plan that would have provided decent health care to millions of Americans.

Why? Why? Why?

Only today I was confronted by the inequities of the American non-health care system as it stands. One of my students has had multiple hospital visits in the last two weeks resulting in multiple hospital bills; a parent is recovering from major surgery and unemployed because of it; grandparents are in a care facility; healthy parent also unemployed thanks to the depths of the depression we are in. My student is the only working member of the family. At a fast food joint. And this family will be losing their home soon because of the almost impossible financial burdens of medical care they have experienced in just the last year.

Why? Why? Why?

* Have you ever met a corporate person? Me neither. Sounds like the bogeyman of all bogeymen to me, Stephen King's red-headed step-child with a dull axe.

My Seventh Organ

2009-09-23T13:51:00.000-07:00

Six Organs of Admittance - Live at Terrastock V (10-12-02)

I can''t tell you much about how I became such a rabid fan of Ben Chesney and Six Organs of Admittance. But if you haven't heard Ben or SOoA, think John Fahey meets VU. That should have you running to Walmart!

All I can remember is reading about a review of a SOoA album in an issue of Ptolemaic Terrascope and knowing that I must hear this band with the super cool, super hard to remember name. Whatever the reviewer wrote fired me up completely. Pretty sure the album was Dust and Chimes. Back then, in the early days of online music, I had a subscription to Emusic, when they still allowed unlimited downloads every month. Boy, did I ever abuse that service! I still have about a hundred CDRs full of 128-bit MP3 albums I downloaded. If I thought I might wanna hear it, BAM! Whether or not SOoA was an Emusic find, I don't know, but there was a lot of great stuff from labels like VHF available.

Hmm...I remember twenty years ago better than ten and both much better than last week.

Anyway, well, um, however many years later or so I'm still a rabid fan. The new album is incredible. Buy it. Buy all their albums. NOW!

The Sound of Fear

2009-09-21T09:43:00.000-07:00

This is the sound of frightened old white men. It's beautiful music, kids, bee-yoo-ti-full!!!

Prayers Come True

2009-09-18T05:30:00.001-07:00

Bardo Pond - Live at Terrastock V (10/13/02)

Though the music I've presented here may not reflect it, I'm not mired in the musical past. I started this blog to try share some of the live music I've collected over the years by the artists that strongly affected me in my youth. And overall, it's been fairly successful, for me at least. Fun too.

But I don't live in the past. I keep my mystical ears wired as much as possible. During the 90s this was terribly frustrating because My Smart Wife and I were physically and culturally isolated, living in Kirksville, Missouri for the middle chunk of that decade.

Kirksville ain't a bad town, but our circumstances limited our appreciation of and enjoyment of it and Missouri considerably. Basically, we was broke. Poor almost. We sometimes used milk crates for furniture and prayed that when a relative visited there might be an old chair or used TV tucked in the back of their vehicle for us. That and cheese and beer - we always prayed for cheese and beer. Couldn't buy the former (not good cheese) in Kirksville and couldn't afford the latter. I remember how wicked and conspicuously consumptive we felt once buying an 8-pack (yes, EIGHT PACK!) of Rhinelander at $1.98. *

So, in those heady Pre-Internet-Is-Every-Goddamn-Where Days it was hard to find out about new music. I felt starved, wasted! That started to change after we added The Boy to our household and one of my brothers gave me his old Mac in exchange for a refurbished Kirby vacuum cleaner (oh, Kirby - what can't you do!) and we got our first dial-in connection to the college My Smart Wife worked at.

My kaleidoscope eyes were opened wide! It really didn't take me long at all to find out that there were many other freaks like me out there - you know who you are!!! - and after suffering in isolation across the country, across the world, for so long we now had found a tool to reach out to our freaky brethren.

One of the first online discussion groups I joined was Drone On, devoted to new music, to "drone" - whatever that is; still trying to figure it out - and weirdness in general. I freakin' ate it up! I read every post, every thread - though I hadn't a clue what the bands they were talking about really sounded like. Kirksville had a used CD/book/magazine/porn/head shop but even if a used CD by one of these weirdly named bands (Bardo Pond? WTF?) had shown up, I didn't have the 7 bucks to buy it. I had a baby to feed, dammit!

I began to create fantasy symphonies in my head, based on the band names and the album titles and the ecstatic descriptions of the music by the different posters. I ached to hear the real thing, though I feared I'd be sorely disappointed when I did. Finally, I started to connect with some listers and they pitied me and sent me compilation tapes (tapes!!!).

Wow - there was some mighty cool shit being laid down and my imaginary tunes weren't half as weird and fun as the real thing.

And then one lucky day we found ourselves on a rare outing to Columbia, home of the University of Missouri and a couple of decent record stores. It was a splurge day. Pizza out, new work clothes for My Smart Wife and something for me. I'd been scrimping and hoarding for months and had almost 20 bucks to blow! Big spender, big spender.

I was freakin' out though, because all I saw was the same old crap, nothing new, nothing weird or droney enough to satisfy my new compulsions. I had a list with me of all the bands that got talked about on the Drone On list and couldn't find any of them at the little weird record stores. Finally, just before we left town, I went to a chain CD store, my expectations lower than my arches.

It was my saving grace. First CD I saw, I bought - Amanita by Bardo Pond. That was all I bought because it took all my monies. Loved the cover, loved the "feel" of it, the vibe it gave off. Though godless, I was praying - praying it wouldn't be total crap, praying I hadn't just wasted my cash.

My prayers came true. First note, first rumbling scree and first emerging roar, first thud and first whomp - everything I suspected might be true about a band that gave itself such a cool name was really true. I almost cried. Beautiful, so beautiful.

That was the start of my delirious affair with Bardo Pond, the late psychedelic love of my life. If you haven't, go now to visit them, to bathe in the sacred wine and traipse through the holy groves with John, Michael, Isobel, Clint and Ed. Order some tunes and some cool t-shirts. Tell Michael that gomonkeygo sent ya.

* I do not endorse the drinking of Rhinelander beer nor its use for medicinal or cleaning purposes of any kind, regardless of its incredibly abrasive qualities and assumed industrial uses.

People Who Died

2009-09-13T20:10:00.000-07:00

When I was student teaching, a young sophomore girl in one of the history classes I was teaching at a very small rural high school was reading The Basketball Diaries. She was a bit of an outsider, let's say. Smart, funny, weird, literate - my kind of kid.

I made her day, became her favorite teacher ever (I exaggerate, to make myself feel better) by asking her how she liked it. She was amazed I knew the book, that I'd read it and even more amazed when I started telling her about his poetry and his music. She didn't know Carroll was also a singer - I told her about this song, one of my all-time faves.

So, for making a small-town girl feel better, Jim - thank you. For helping me make a connection with a great kid, thank you. I still see her around town, in fact I expect I'll be seeing her next week. We have something, someone, to talk about again.

Seeing Red!

2009-09-07T11:28:00.000-07:00

Comrade Obama has abandoned the party, fellow workers of the state! We have been hoodwinked and played for fools!!!

Yes, it's true. The White House (oh, when did it turn from Red?) has released the text of "President" Obama's speech to our nation's children he intends to give tomorrow.

And there is not a word of socialist/communist/leftist propaganda in it! We've been betrayed!

Nothing about the Twelve-Year Plan (for terms one, two and three of Obama's Thousand-Year Rule) or collectivization of farms and government takeover of utilities and health care. Nary a hint of the forced sterilization of Whitey and the wholescale slaughter of Granny! Nothing about working for the Leader! Nothing about the "Summer Camps" for the enemies of the State. Nothing about the Youth Army at all - what kind of speech is this?

The children, the poor children. They are leaderless...

I'm afraid the dream is over, comrades. Return to your cells and plot anew. The revolution has been cancelled.

What Would Jeebus Do?

2009-09-03T09:16:00.001-07:00

I almost wish the fantasy of Christianity were true and a space-god would return to judge us all. Because if it's that hippie from the New Testament, then he's gonna go Manson. All over so-called Christians like this guy and this guy. Not too forget this dude.

All preachers of the word. And the word is "Kill!" They all are publicly preaching about and praying for the death of President Barack Obama.

Lovely people. True believers. Scum of the earth.

Everyday I hope to hear good things come from the mouths, minds and hearts of the religious, the kind of things that my own pastor used to say, about charity and loving others and forgiveness. Everyday I'm disappointed. Everyday I'm more convinced of the irrationality of all religion and I'm confirmed in my belief that we need to grow past it to survive.

Maybe I should look into Scientology. If Beck likes it...

ROCK ON!

2009-09-02T07:14:00.000-07:00

Here's a blast to keep you sane from Nazz Nomad.

It's a Caterwaul of Sound, man, a Caterwaul!!!!

Love the bridge or the chorus or whatever it is. Awesome.

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Craaaazy! Ev'rywhere You Go!

2009-09-02T06:59:00.001-07:00

Man, I was gonna write about sitcoms today. Seriously. I'm always wanting to write about sitcoms. In fact, I've always wanted to write for sitcoms but that's a whole 'nother story.

Instead, I bring you...VERY ANGRY WHITE FOLKS! Yeah! Anger! Yeah! White! Yeah! White? Not much else to say except I really need to talk to the genuis at about one minute twenty seconds, who somehow managed to distort the space-time continuum and put a several hundred year old wooden warship inside of a small paper pamphlet! This guy's our next Einstein, I tells ya!

Did I mention crazy? Seriously, these folks have opened the Crazy Door, put out the Crazy Welcome Mat and stocked the Crazy Fridge full of Crazy Cola for the Big Crazy Party.

Personally, I don't hate them. I actually feel great pity for them. They are scared because the man in the White House ain't white no more. And evidently that's the only sense of identity they have. Their lives are meaningless without the prop of their skin color. Very sad. But they only get one boo-hoo from me and that was it.

Bye, crazies!

Crazy Super Train

2009-08-29T17:18:00.000-07:00

Glenn Beck is gonna tell us all what we can do. To stop the Obama "Oligarhy"!!!

Now, I don't know what an "oligarhy" is (though it's pronounced, according to Glenn, like a word that should be spelled "oligarchy" - go figure!) but I'm quakin' in my size 11 and a half, nearly triple-E boots. Actually, Birkenstocks, but boots if I owned some. Check it out...

I have to hand it to the little freak, though. He's really masterful at the fine art of riling scared folks up into a frenzy. I'm guessing nine-tenths of his viewers spent a couple hours trying to Google "Oligarhy" and when they couldn't find it, just got more scared. I mean, when "The Google" is in on the conspiracy, too, and tries to tell you that maybe you are really looking for is some totally insane word nobody's ever heard of, like "oligarchy," then you know it's time to hit the streets with full auto's blazing!!!!

White folks, hide under your beds! The Oligarhy is coming! Hide your children! Destroy your Social Security card and the implant in it they track you with!!! Hide your funny men, the ones with soft things on their chests and the ability to bear children even though you can't, a strange and frightening fact that you just don't understand even though every day you give birth to little dirt babies so why can't you make real babies! It's a sad puzzle! The Oligarhy is coming!

I hope it brings ice cream.

Angry White Racist Commended by Senator

2009-08-27T05:02:00.001-07:00

It reads like an Onion headline, but it's true...

Now that Glenn Beck is on the run, maybe we can do something about Senator "Wally"!

Rise Like Lions, Shake Your Chains!

2009-08-26T06:33:00.001-07:00

I'm no big fan of the Kennedy clan, kids. But I'm no ogre either and my sympathies go out to them on their loss today. Probably, like you, I can't claim any personal feelings of loss as I never met Sen. Kennedy, but we can all relate to the loss of a family member. At least they had time to be with him and knew this day was coming. For one family, they've had many sudden losses.

I can't help but hope, though - and I think Sen. Kennedy might not be adverse to this - that the Democrats will be strengthened by his passing rather than weakened. With renewed vigor and a desire to "Do It for Teddy!" they can return to Washington and get a real health care package passed in both houses of Congress. NOW IS THE TIME!

I know Kennedy was a great believer in compromise, but there is no room for compromise in health care. We have to have it and we have to have a public option. Without a public option, health care will only further subsidize the insurance companies, providing no leverage for the people to use against them - and our tax money will pay for it.

With a public option, we can fight. Because this is a fight, for our rights. I believe that health care is a fundamental right in America - let's call it something catchy like "promoting the general welfare," eh? - and NOW IS THE TIME!

Chuckie Alert - Defcon 6

2009-08-19T07:32:00.000-07:00

I'm happy to note that Chuck Norris, a leading intellectual light of the right, has come out with a smashing expose of Obama's health care plan:

IT'S NOT OBAMA'S PLAN!

Yes, according to Chuck, Obama shouldn't be tarred and feathered for his heinous plan which will create death panels, institutionalize euthanasia and steal children from their homes in the dead of night (yes, he really thinks that).

The guy really behind it all is: Dr. Ezekiel Emanuel.

A Jew.

You can read all of Chuck's babblings if you really want to do so - but you needn't bother reading past Dr. Emanuel's last name. All Chuck really wants is for his brain-dead legion of zombie readers to note the name. And quake in fear.

Because Chuck Knows that They Know what a name like Emanuel means:

NEW WORLD ORDER! JEWISH CONSPIRACY!

I'm not gonna put up any links to any sites that discuss the NWO and the JC (hey, aren't those Jesus' initials, too?) because they are morally repugnant. You can find them very easily if you wish.

And it's really pointless to even post a comment on the Human Events' website because they censor them. One of mine showed up once. Not one since. Feel free to comment away here, though. I don't censor or block my comments and I try to respond to all, regardless of level of insanity.

Oh, and Chuck - burn in hell!

Second That (E)Motion

2009-08-19T07:13:00.000-07:00

I'm with Grandpa Simpson - "I'll be deep in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missourah."

But I do applaud the Springfield News-Leader for kicking the grouty butt of Roy Blount when he was caught REPEATEDLY lying to a newspaper editorial board about health care reform. Kudos to them and the diarist at Daily Kos who's spreading the word about Roy "It's not a lie if I say it's not! Really, I think I remember that somebody might maybe have told me this! Really!!!!" Blount.

If you think my hatred of Missouri petty and childish, please go and live there for four years. Then we'll talk. They didn't call them "Pukes" in the previous to last century for nothin', kids.

Lying Liars and Their Lies

2009-08-12T12:18:00.000-07:00

Glenn "Gotta Love them Nazis" Beck is at again. As advertisers pull out of his show in droves, he lies again today. Here's a video of him showing a Nazi eugenics poster and telling his audience what it says. But he lies about what it says, claiming it characterizes the person in the chair as "a sweet guy" and discusses his "quality of life." It doesn't. This is Beck broadening the lie to make it more sickly sweet and easier to slid down the gullible gullets of his viewers.

Don't get me wrong: This is still an evil, nasty piece of graphic propaganda made by evil, nasty people, but Beck distorts it and twists it for his own propaganda purposes. I think that's officially a "Double Bad Evil Thing."

Sign the petition to urge Beck's sponsors to dump him. It feels good. You're a "sweet guy" if you do it. A Nazi if you don't. Really. Just ask Glenn if you don't believe me.

In Case You Missed Something...

2009-08-10T16:47:00.001-07:00

If you're new here or just lazy (yeah! lazy!), here's every live show I've posted. I think. Maybe I missed one or two. And there may be a surprise in there. I can't be bothered to check. I'm too busy polishing my monocle.

LIVE MUSIC IS BETTER

http://rapidshare.com/files/198821235/Alex_Chilton_-_Live_at_Berkeley_Square__Berkeley__CA__6-22-85_.part1.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/198825077/Alex_Chilton_-_Live_at_Berkeley_Square__Berkeley__CA__6-22-85_.part2.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/198529912/Alex_Chilton_-_Live_at_The_Heartbreak_Hotel__Languedoc__France__5-7-86_.part1.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/198530346/Alex_Chilton_-_Live_at_The_Heartbreak_Hotel__Languedoc__France__5-7-86_.part2.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/198814514/Alex_Chilton_-_Live_at_the_VFW_Hall__Baton_Rouge__LA__9-27-85_.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/135292943/Bevis_Frond_-_Live_at_Speaking_In_Tongues__Cleveland__OH__10-16-99__Part_1.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/135416052/Bevis_Frond_-_Live_at_Speaking_In_Tongues__Cleveland__OH__10-16-99__Part_2.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/125868706/Black_Hollies_-_Live_Hi-Tone_Memphis__06-01-08_.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/147317902/Brian_Eno___Robert_Fripp_-_Live_at_the_Olympia__Paris__France__5-28-75__Part_1.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/147331872/Brian_Eno___Robert_Fripp_-_Live_at_the_Olympia__Paris__France__5-28-75__Part_2.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/100545134/Butthole_Surfers_-_Live_at_First_Avenue__Minneapolis__MN__4-20-87___Part_1.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/100536798/Butthole_Surfers_-_Live_at_First_Avenue__Minneapolis__MN__4-20-87___Part_2.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/100565560/Camper_Van_Beethoven_-_Live_at_CBGB_s__New_York__NY__3-21-86__Part_1.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/100569203/Camper_Van_Beethoven_-_Live_at_CBGB_s__New_York__NY__3-21-86__Part_2.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/156118102/Captain_Beefheart_-_Live_at_the_Radar_Station__1980__Part_1.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/156120779/Captain_Beefheart_-_Live_at_the_Radar_Station__1980__Part_2.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/149490745/Clay_Allison_-_Live_at_the_Electric_Banana__Pittsburgh__PA__5-22-84__Part_1.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/149495486/Clay_Allison_-_Live_at_the_Electric_Banana__Pittsburgh__PA__5-22-84__Part_2.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/87736514/Clay_Allison_-_Live_at_Unknown_Venue__1983_.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/87266625/Clay_Allison_-_Live_at_Unknown_Venue__Probably_1984_.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/94067234/Danny___Dusty_-_Live__Somewhere_in_Hollywood__1986__Part_1.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/94067240/Danny___Dusty_-_Live__Somewhere_in_Hollywood__1986__Part_2.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/100554390/Devo_-_Live_at_the_Old_Waldorf__San_Francisco__CA__11-20-78__Part_1.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/100560557/Devo_-_Live_at_the_Old_Waldorf__San_Francisco__CA__11-20-78__Part_2.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/194304767/Dinosaur__Jr._-_Live_at_the_Blind_Pig__Ann_Arbor__MI__9-15-87_.part1.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/194298559/Dinosaur__Jr._-_Live_at_the_Blind_Pig__Ann_Arbor__MI__9-15-87_.part2.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/111555609/Echo___the_Bunnymen_-_Live_at_the_Arena__Rotterdam__Holland__3-18-83__Part_1.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/111565591/Echo___the_Bunnymen_-_Live_at_the_Arena__Rotterdam__Holland__3-18-83__Part_2.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/147899710/Eleventh_Dream_Day_-_Live_at_the_Cattle_Club__Sacramento__CA__4-27-91__Part_1.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/147912944/Eleventh_Dream_Day_-_Live_at_the_Cattle_Club__Sacramento__CA__4-27-91__Part_2.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/147924944/Eleventh_Dream_Day_-_Live_in_Munich__Germany__6-30-91__Part_1.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/147937152/Eleventh_Dream_Day_-_Live_in_Munich__Germany__6-30-91__Part_2.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/110709433/Eugene_Chadbourne_-_Live_at_Kent_State__Kent__OH__5-7-81__Part_1.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/110718591/Eugene_Chadbourne_-_Live_at_Kent_State__Kent__OH__5-7-81__Part_2.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/88247288/Great_Plains_-_Live_at_Stache_s__Columbus_OH__10-31-85_.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/102695730/Green_On_Red_-_Live_at_CBGB_s__NYC__12-10-83__Part_1.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/102704523/Green_On_Red_-_Live_at_CBGB_s__NYC__12-10-83__Part_2.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/102714137/Green_On_Red_-_Live_at_Glastonbury__UK__6-21-85__Part_1.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/102723763/Green_On_Red_-_Live_at_Glastonbury__UK__6-21-85__Part_2.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/91259925/Green_On_Red_-_Live_at_Glastonbury__UK__6-22-85_.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/89034374/Green_On_Red_-_Live_at_Zeche__Bochum__Germany__10-4-1985__Part_1.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/89019806/Green_On_Red_-_Live_at_Zeche__Bochum__Germany__10-4-1985__Part_2.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/91894831/H_sker_D__-_At_the_First_Avenue_Club__Minneapolis__MN__8-28-85__Part_1.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/91894840/H_sker_D__-_At_the_First_Avenue_Club__Minneapolis__MN__8-28-85__Part_2.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/199786635/Jefferson_Airplane_-_Live_at_Winterland__San_Francisco__CA__10-4-70_.part1.rar
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A Milestone of Fatherhood

2009-08-10T09:52:00.000-07:00

Had to happen eventually. And I made it as fun as possible. But...

I taught The Boy how to shave yesterday.

He's growing up and I'm growing old.

I've got a secret...shhhhh!

2009-08-07T08:09:00.001-07:00

I'm really President Obama's secret twin brother!
And you can be too!

Now Is the Time

2009-08-06T08:43:00.000-07:00

You need to go and listen to Glenn "I Have Life-Size Appliques of Hitler, Goebbels and Goering on the Mirrored Ceiling Over My Bed" Beck issue a literal call-to-arms to his crazy listeners.

And listen carefully, because Glenn "I didn't say anything of the sort!" Beck couches his call to armed revolt and treason very carefully. By saying it's "not time" for it. The unspoken "yet" lingers heavily in the crazy ear.

I dunno if Beck is purely delusional, a real true believer, or just a cynical, manipulative, vicious propagandist. I do think that he is a deeply hate-filled man and I can almost have pity for him except that he chooses to use his hatred to push the buttons of the unhinged and the racist, hoping against hope that one of them will do the dirty deed, that one of them will pull the trigger he hopes will get pulled.

Unlike Beck, I think NOW IS THE TIME! - time to start fighting back against this kind of vileness. How about a boycott for starters?

Don't listen to any radio station that broadcasts his propaganda show and let them know about it, too. Just turning off the radio is meaningless.
Boycott any sponsor of either his radio or TV programs.
Boycott his publisher, too. Don't buy any book from Simon & Schuster, the parent company of Threshold Editions, Beck's publisher.
Boycott the parent company of Simon & Schuster - CBS! Don't watch any program on CBS.
AND LET THEM KNOW - via phone or email or letter or picket line!
Hit the bastards in the only place that matters - their pocket books! Nothing else will motivate any of Beck's corporate protectors to distance themselves from him.

It's really funny, now, seeing the tree of corporate protectionism that sponsors Beck's hatred, since he bills himself as a man of the people, a voice for the voiceless, just a neighborhood Joe who's fighting the good fight against the powers that be. Without those powers, he is powerless, he is voiceless, he is nothing.

Let's make sure of that, eh?

Bye-bye, Beck, bye-bye!

The Moustache Suits You!

2009-08-04T12:18:00.000-07:00

Adolf Boehner, anyone?

Congressional Thug for Hire, aka, House Minority Leader John Boehner (R - for Rotten), is happily endorsing the Nazi-styled thuggery and intimidation tactics promoted by the (laugh whenever you say or write the name, you just have to! Tea Baggers.

Receiving their cell instructions from their secret leaders, the Tea Baggers are using brownshirt bullying to disrupt public discourse in the name of...tea bags? And Johnny Boy Boehner is right with 'em, kids! (For more reason and less sarcasm, read this or this).

When not bathing in bronzing solution, Rep. Boehner enjoys destroying American institutions, vanilla ice cream, white bread, mayo, Mein Kampf (abridged audio version only), kicking puppies and wondering what Nazi heaven is like and if he's enough of a true believer to someday see it.

Happy Birthday, Mr. President

2009-08-04T08:09:00.001-07:00

Happy Birthday, President Obama!

Please don't turn into the Anti-Christ and kill us all.

(Happy thoughts, everybody, happy thoughts!!!)

Thank you.

When Crazy Does TV

2009-08-03T08:23:00.001-07:00

When Michelle Malkin starts talking about government cheese and basically saying that people prefer unemployment to, I dunno - eating? - I want to puke. I also want to ask her this:

"Miss (surely Ms. is not appropriate?) Malkin - have you ever been unemployed? Have you ever lost your job due to downsizing? Have you ever tried to feed a family of four on unemployment benefits? Have you ever been up at 3am, shaking with the sweats, crying, wondering what you were going to do when your unemployment benefits run out - how you'd keep your children from starving? Have you ever tried to get a job when there are no jobs to be gotten? Have you, ever, in your entire life, suffered a single privation due to lack of economic resources?"

I know the answer already and so do you. I also know that someone like Miss Malkin wouldn't even let me ask her a question like this. She'd scream about "welfare mothers driving Cadillacs" (the Republicans and the conservatives are so old school) and "Socialists! Communists! Feminists! Leftists!" until - she would hope - I would go away and stop confronting her idealogy with reality. Because the two don't mix and it hurts her brain to deal with them equally.

Advice to Michelle Malkin: Cognitive dissonance may hurt a little but millions of unemployed and starving Americans would rather face that than what they wake up to every morning.

You're a lucky person, Miss Malkin. You don't have the problems real Americans have. I almost envy you.

Things That Blow My Mind

2009-07-29T07:06:00.000-07:00

This is post 400 on The New Disease. And for a change it's not about politics. Or music (sorry).

It's about graphic design. Sort of. Which I kind of do for a living. Sort of. When I'm not teaching. Not not teaching graphic design. That's not not what I do.

Anyway, I just slipped upon this awesome, groovy blog full of awesome, groovy B-movie/horror posters and movie trailers. Lovely stuff! So much fun! (Like the one above - incredible!)

Knock yer selves out, kids!

It Was Forty Years Ago Today...

2009-07-20T05:01:00.001-07:00

When Neil Armstrong taught the world to say "One small step..."

I grew up with the space program and Apollo and NASA and the dream that became reality - men and women living and working in outer space. If my head were to be taken apart by an archaeologist of the mind, one of the lowest and densest strata would be labeled "Space Junk," I'm sure.

If I were old enough to have seen Disney's shows on space exploration, I probably would've been an astronaut rather than an astronut. Instead, I dreamt of space in my Milwaukee Brewer's pajamas during the afternoon naps my Mom made me take even though I fought hard and long against them because I might miss a second of moon landing coverage.

Thank you, Neil and Buzz. Even if you did fake it, it was incredible.

(I just found out that those classic Disney space shows are on DVD. I ordered my copy thirty seconds ago! Check on Half.com if you don't want to give Amazon your monies.)

The Boil to be Lanced

2009-07-17T04:32:00.001-07:00

Pat Buchanan is a human-boil. I say we stick him with a sharp object and release the foulness. It's for his own good.

I haven't posted in a while because I've been busy in my basement, building a man-sized hideaway fort out of crazy ideas and toothpicks. And busy taking off for beautiful McGregor, Iowa with My Smart Wife for a wonderful mid-week romp. Never been to McGregor before but it's a lovely old river town right at the base of the bluffs on the Mississippi, struggling to survive but with an energy and a will that's inspiring.

So as well as missing a few days of prime posting on all kinds of topics, like how the (R) behind so many Senators' names should stand for (Racist) rather than (Republican), I also missed out on Pat Buchanan's ultimate meltdown about all the brown-skinned people and how they's gonna destroy America.

I was working myself up to my normal monkey frenzy on the topic when I read this on Daily Kos. I think you should too. It puts Pat in perspective and in his filthy little place.

Have a nice day and a great weekend, kids. I'm heading out to put up the signs for our garage sale. Anyone wanna buy a slightly used garage?

Health Care, Schmealth Care!

2009-07-11T05:48:00.000-07:00

Interesting diary post on Daily Kos about a health insurance executive's confession of guilt. Real guilt, as in he actually is feeling an emotion. Hard to believe, I know, but...

But guilt about what? About lying to the American people, about depriving the American people of proper health care, about being a total asshole.

Guilt too about trying to cover up the truth regarding the health care systems of Canada and Britain that are so derided and mocked by the conservative right and their fascist stooges in this country. The kind of truth Michael Moore tried to tell us about with Sicko.

If you have ever dismissed Michael Moore as a demagogue of the left, biased and whacked, read this and think again. There are very powerful, monied interests working very hard to control the media spin on health care. And one of them has just fessed up to it.

Welcome to the Monkey House!

2009-07-08T19:55:00.000-07:00

I was just frakkin' around with Google Earth and thought I'd share with you...The Monkey House!

This is the best shot available. A year ago you couldn't even see rooftops, only trees. Maybe in a few more years they'll catch me naked on the roof. For reasons best not gone into. What do your homes look like from space, kids?

Tears In My Beers

2009-07-07T10:28:00.000-07:00

Be sad, be very sad. An angry man becomes a Senator today and America dies. I guess. Maybe. Huh?

I've never known folks that despise the whole culture of the victim as much as the Republicans claim to do, to so thoroughly embrace it and wrap themselves in it like grease on bacon or pigs on trout or whatever homily Sarah Palin would use to describe it. They are getting better at their propaganda though. This a pretty masterful, Goebbels-like misappropriation of images.

Here's to you, Al! Congratulations on your stolen election and your illegitimate Senatorship which begins today. You're scaring the living daylights out of them. Too bad Harry Reid will screw it all up for the Dems. Try to ignore him - he's a tool, a worthless tool, and you'd do better by pretending he doesn't exist. All the Dems would.

Welcome to the world, Senator Franken!

Happy 4th of July!

2009-07-04T17:25:00.000-07:00

Some video for you on America's anniversary. Perhaps my favorite songs each by Thin White Rope and Savage Republic. The lyrics to this SR song echoed in my head many times during the previous Presidential administration. Enjoy!

Goin' to Hell, Real Fast

2009-07-04T11:32:00.000-07:00

I'm a bad, bad, bad man for laughing my ass off about this.

Even more so for laughing at this:

Now I really, really, really have to go to the Creation Museum.

The Race Is On!

2009-07-03T13:27:00.000-07:00

Sarah Palin just resigned as Governor of Alaska. Yeah. Just a few minutes ago, basically. And she gave a nearly incomprehensible and, I'm sure, deeply coded, speech all about it.

Go ahead, check it out, I'll wait (it's only 1:43)....Okay, here we go!

Near as I can figure it, Palin is running away from her gubernatorial responsibilities, those she was elected to fulfill by the people of the State of Alaska, because she thinks it's too hard a job to do right now. Because of the "new political environment."

"New political environment." Translation: I'm quitting because of Obama and the bad, bad, bad things he's doing - Obama is forcing me to quit. It's all Obama's fault. Blame Obama. Sarah in 2012! (BUY MY BOOK! BUY MY BOOK! You know, the one that I couldn't write and make money from while still governor? Yeah, that one.)

I think she intends to set herself up for the next few years as the ultimate political outsider, willing to sacrifice all for the good of the (white) people in the fight against evil (aka "That one!"). Things is gonna get even uglier, kids.

I think Little Miss Hitler just threw down the glove.

Big Bang BOOM!!!

2009-07-03T08:49:00.000-07:00

I know our local fireworks display won't top this action:

Happy 4th of July weekend, fellow Amerikans and all foreign-type folks everywhere!

PHASE IV! PHASE IV! We're All Gonna Die!!!

2009-07-01T19:31:00.001-07:00

I knew it! I always knew it would be the goddamn ants that do us in. Be afraid, be very afraid...

(Phase IV scared the crap out me when I was ten years old. To a ten year old, it seemed very plausible, indeed. I even read the novelization by Barry Malzberg. You should read some Malzberg if you haven't, btw. Great writer, totally overlooked and undervalued by the majority of science fiction fans, but very cool and weird and depressing and highly literate and so twisted that even science fiction's ghetto which can embrace much has trouble with Malzberg. That makes him worth looking for, I think. I was amazed looking at his bibliography just now; I have almost everything the man's written, fiction-wise at least plus some of the non-fiction. I had no idea I liked Malzberg that much. Go figure!)