Sunday, December 25, 2011

Buy Me!

As of this moment, my personal political endorsement of any presidential candidate, any party, is now for sale.

The bidding starts at $999,999.00. Bidding ends when I decided I've raked in enough dough to get off the couch.

The "winning" candidate will receive: A nod in said candidate's general direction, a knowing wink when candidate's name is mentioned, a slow nod of approval with overly large smile if asked "Do you support 'Candidate X'?" and a "Like" of candidate's official Facebook page.

Let the money shower commence!

Sunday, December 4, 2011


A handful of government officials secretly colluded with basically the nation's entire financial sector to receive secret loans for $7.7 trillion fucking dollars. SEVEN POINT SEVEN TRILLION FUCKING DOLLARS.

I may be wrong but I think that looks like this:


Close enough for government work, as my Grandpa used to say.

Should we have hearings? Demand investigations? Crap ourselves silly?

I have only one suggestion: drag every single CEO and government official culpable in this corruption out of their offices by the hair, pepper spray them in the face, hit them in the ribs and along their spines with billy clubs, cuff 'em, throw 'em in a police van for ten hours, make 'em piss and shit themselves, put 'em in a filthy, overcrowded jail without representation, food or medicine, parade their degraded faces all over the media, mock them on national television, slap enormously out of proportion bail on them and finally kick 'em out on the street. Without their jobs.

Then tell 'em to take a bath and get a job.