Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Road Trip?

Anyone wanna join me on a visit to the Creation Museum? Wanna know what it feels like to have centuries of scientific progress thrown out with the bathwater in the name of faith? Wanna feel your very soul shrink within as you witness the evidence of religious nuttery gone mainstream?

Then let's hit the road! I'm more than half serious here, kids. If we can manage four or five willing folk who have the heart to brave the maelstrom of ignorance and fear, then I think we should do it. Whether we travel alone or together, we can meet in Petersburg, KY (is that where they make the Jelly?) and immerse ourselves in the insane for a few hours, test our mettle against the power of Biblical insanity.

Friday, June 26, 2009

A Legend Has Passed

The world musical and bizarre lost one of it's finest and strangest yesterday.

Sky "Sunlight" Saxon passed from our earthly plane Thursday. Or would he have called it Thorsday?

Sky was my first introduction to 60s psychedelia via a New Rose LP in the early 80s. One side recent psych-splatterings that blew my mind because they were so formless and wild and unlike anything I'd ever heard before. One side structured and song-centered, all organs and driving beats.

That record. I barely understood what I was hearing. (Damn, how many times have I written that on this blog!) It was like the first time, a few years later, that I heard Sonic Youth's Bad Moon Rising - a new world was born in my head. In retrospect, that old New Rose LP is not such a hot album. Pretty shitty, really. And the B-side was horribly recorded, probably demos. I tried to listen to it a few years ago and was greatly disappointed. The sounds I heard as a teen didn't exist any more on this piece of vinyl. What happened, what changes occurred in the years along the way to that record and to me - well, that's life.

And Sky had a heckuva life. Whether you loved him for The Seeds or came to him via a different path like I did, you'll miss him.

Adios, Sky! Keep on pushin' too hard, man!

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

One of Our Governors Is Missing!

Or he was missing.

'Case you hadn't heard, the retarded Governor of South Carolina, Mark Sanford (R - with former Presidential aspirations), went unexpectedly bye-bye for a while. For most of a week in fact. Without telling his wife, his aides, his Lt. Governor or anyone in the state of South Carolina where he was going.

So, when his wife naturally started to worry and went public about this, after he'd been gone for days already, his aides put together the story that he was just out for a hike...on the Appalachian Trial. But he wasn't. They lied. They didn't know where he was and they couldn't or wouldn't admit it. (That's the Republican version of "accountability" at work, kids).

Real story? Gosh, but it seems that Governor "I Don't Want No Stinkin' Obama Money 'Cuz I Wanna Run for President Agin' Him!" Sanford was actually off with his mistress in Argentina. Crying, he says. Yeah, crying.


As a follow-up to yesterday's post, this couldn't be more apropos. I wrote the snarky little piece below because I was pissed not at Sen. Ensign's affair with a married woman but because I was pissed about the gushing Return of the Prodigal Philandering Son Welcome given him by his GOP buddies in the Senate.

Remember, It's OK If You're a Republican - So Long As You Apologize Afterwards (and Preferably Mention God and/or Jesus While Doing So). That's IOKIYAR-SLAYAAAPMGAOJWDS. I doubt that acronym is gonna catch on.

Screw the acronyms - let's just call them Republicans! No bigger insult available these days.

Governor Sandford should resign from office. Not for his affair, but for his total and complete abrogation of his elected duties as Governor of the State of South Carolina. If Illinois had such an incompetent Governor, we'd be clamoring for his head!

Oh, wait...

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Apology Accepted...?

"Rich White Male Apologizes Sincerely For Affair In Which He Cheated On His Wife With Another Married Woman"

And it's very touching. Senator John Ensign has deeply and with real emotion apologized for his personal sexual affair...to his work buddies? Who applauded afterwards?

I guess his wife will read about it here. Sorry, Mrs. Ensign. A man's gotta have his priorities.

Why am I vomiting in my mouth?

Friday, June 19, 2009

Wipe Out!!!!!!!!

The Ventures, as always, remind us that they can kick all of our collective asses anytime, anywhere - don't even look at them crossways!

"Monkeys and bees! Monkeys and Bees! Inside my head!!!!!!!!!!!"

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

I Do Declare!

Like Rush Limbaugh before him, Newt can't get a break!

I mean, really, you can't expect a "historian," a "scholar," a prized Republican intellectual light like Newt to accurately quote from the Declaration of Independence, can you?

That's asking an awful lot, kids. These guys have their priorities: hating women, hating minorities, hating Obama, hating the poor, hating the middle class, hating everything that's not white and privileged and wealthy and elite.

That's a lot of hating to do. No time for fact checking. Really - it took me nearly three seconds to find the full text of the Declaration of Independence online! THREE WHOLE SECONDS! Newt could've forgotten to hate someone in that time.

Just to be nice, in case Newt needs it in the future, I'm gonna post it here, in full. All he's gotta do is bookmark my blog. (I know you read it, Newt!)

FUN FACT: I can only find four references to a deity in the Declaration. None in the Constitution. Is this the evidence that we are a Christian nation I keep hearing? Not one mention of Christ or Jesus or Jeebus or Raptor Jesus even. But a really provocative mention of "Nature's God," a deist term that is purposefully at odds with the idea that we are a Christian nation and meant rather specifically to suggest otherwise. Fun facts, indeed.

The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America

When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security. — Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.

He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.

He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.

He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their Public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.

He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.

He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected, whereby the Legislative Powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.

He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.

He has obstructed the Administration of Justice by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary Powers.

He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.

He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harass our people and eat out their substance.

He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.

He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil Power.

He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:

For quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:

For protecting them, by a mock Trial from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:

For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:

For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:

For depriving us in many cases, of the benefit of Trial by Jury:

For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences:

For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies

For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:

For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.

He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.

He has plundered our seas, ravaged our coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.

He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation, and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & Perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.

He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.

He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.

Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our British brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these united Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States, that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. — And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor.

From: USHistory.org

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Dear John...

Dear John McCain:

I'm so very glad that you are not our President.

With your retro-vision of American power at all costs, I'm sure we'd be hauling our once mighty fleet of B-52s out of the desert sands of their tomb and preparing to bomb Iran back to the Stone Age.

Or would you be doing that to the giant shantytown camps of homeless and jobless that would be filling the nation as a result of the assuredly trainwreck economic policies your corporate overlord-advisors would have forced upon us?

Or maybe the gays? To keep them from destroying marriage?

Atheists? 'Cuz God got scared?

Well, you'd be bombing someone, somewhere, I'm sure. Whoever pissed you off the most when you had to answer the phone at 3am.

Thanks for being such a loser, John. Just wanted to let you know that someone out here appreciates you for it.

Take care (and shut the hell up all the time, please!)



PS It's because of revisionist baloney like this that I took mouse in hand to write you today, dear John:
DAVID GREGORY: Let's get right to it on Iran. How does the U.S. deal with an emboldened Iranian President Ahmadinejad?

SENATOR JOHN McCAIN: Well, we lead; we condemn the sham, corrupt election. We do what we have done throughout the Cold War and afterwards, we speak up for the people of Tehran and Iran and all the cities all over that country who have been deprived of one of their fundamental rights. We speak out forcefully, and we make sure that the world knows that America leads - and including increased funding for part of the Farda, Iranian free radio.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

The Face of Freedom

Something "funny" happened in Iran a few days ago. A predicted close election became a big win for the President in power. As Americans we know the feeling; it happened here in 2004, right? (Ohio - I'm looking at you!)

And now young people, men and women, boys and girls really from my aged perspective, are taking to the streets in protest. They know their future was stolen from them and they're mad as hell!

By reposting this pic, I'm not mocking this young man, his feelings or his problems (which are those of both his own country and by extension the world), but I couldn't help but be overwhelmed by the symbolism.

The capitalist-pigs amongst us should be proud. Western commercialism is fueling Iranian political unrest and possibly dictating a world-shaking change in Mid-Eastern politics. I know they've been none-too-secretly hoping and praying for exactly what happened in Iran on Friday - to keep the current boogeyman in power and halt any hope of change in the status quo - but I think they need to do a re-think.

It's a CK revolution, kids, and don't you forget it.

Friday, June 12, 2009

More Than Enough Redux

I'm just plain stealing this from Enriched Geranium Ed's blog. Got to - it's the perfect soundtrack to my recent Reagan rants. Check out all of the other Appliances-SFB vids that Ed has posted. Ask him about how you, too, can buy a shiny silver disc of musical lessons from the Appliances. You'll make Reagan cry - and that's a good thing.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

What Pro-Life Really Means

A challenge to all Pro-Life readers of this and any blog. (Do I have any pro-life readers? Do I have any readers? Hmmm...)

Put your money where your mouth is or shut the frack up!

If you are truly "pro-life" then get on the phone and call your Senator and your Representatives and tell them how much you want universal health care in the United States of America.

Why? Because real live adult human being people are dying because they can't get medical coverage because they can't get insurance because they don't have money because the system only gives a damn about profit because for too damn long we've let the insurance companies and medical institutions tell us what's good for us because it's been good for their profits.

And, if you really are "pro-life" then you cannot deny life or the option of life to another human being who's already alive while you fight for the rights of an unborn fetus.

I know, you're speaking for those who cannot speak for themselves. Been there myself, sirs or madams. Volunteered for years speaking for the voiceless abused and neglected in court. But the people without decent medical coverage in this nation are as nearly voiceless because they are without power and money and access to media. Unlike our dear Senators and Representatives and Insurance Buddies and Doctor Friends (I'm looking at you, AMA!).

You have your bully pulpits, sometimes quite literally. Use them for the benefit of all, not just a select few.

Or shut the frack up. Because if you don't, you don't have a moral or ethical leg to base your "pro-life" arguments on. Because they are totally arbitrary and a-moral, in that you choose whom to give "life" to. Not what Jesus would do at all, friends, not at all.

This rant brought to you by "Coffee!!!" and was inspired by THIS diary.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Been There, Done That

From the lunatic fringe (ie, The Washington Times) comes a touching look back at "The W(h)it(e) and Wisdom of Ronald Reagan." You all remember Ronnie, right, former-President of the North American Man-Chimp Love Association (NAMCLA)?

Here's a couple of paragraphs I just love:
Some years ago, CBS News correspondent Lesley Stahl reported on a jobs program run out of a Harlem housing project in New York City. Participants were the hard-core unemployed who either had never had a job or couldn't hold onto one. All were minorities. The leader asked, "How many think racism is a problem in America?" Every hand went up. He then said, "So what? Your problem isn't racism; your problem is attitude, and that's what we're going to change."

He taught them how to dress, how to shake hands and look prospective employers in the eye. Cameras followed one woman to an interview. She got the job and began to cry. She had discovered her value and the power of the individual. Government didn't give her that job; she got it on her own. In fact, government had been sending her checks, which had caused her to be more dependent on government.
How much do I love these paragraphs? Let me count the ways...

As a teacher, I see myself as someone whose job is to empower students to believe in themselves, to help instill a sense of self-worth and self-esteem within my students, to help my students learn that the power to change their lives comes first and foremost from within themselves. And none of this is to be done at the expense of "book learning," I believe, but as an intrinsic part of the whole.

But for years, conservatives have lambasted the likes of me and my insidious brethren for trying to do the above. Not our job, we're told. Just teach 'em to read and write and count to four by twos. Self-esteem and self-worth are wasted in the schools, we've been told. Fuck 'em, we've been told.

And here comes Mr. Cal (Probably Well-Educated at Tax Payer's Expense at Some Point In His Sad Life) Thomas who says that isn't it great when we empower people and help them with their self-esteem and show them that they are intrinsically valuable?

So long as nasty old government ain't doing it, that is. So long as it also stamps a hob-nailed boot down on the idea that racism exists in America. So long as it serves the conservative agenda. So long...so long...so long and thanks for all the fish (RIP Doug Adams - you're still missed!).


PS Ever seen a more disturbing or patronizing or more unfortunately appropriate photo than Reagan bottle-feeding Bonzo? Probably stuffed the bottle full of downers first, to lull the chimp into a false sense of security. Before he beat it to death with the empty. Just to try and win back the love of Jane Wyman.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Give It Up, Senators!

It's time for health care for all...or none for you, Senators! (And lowly, sniveling Representatives, too!)

President Obama campaigned on a promise to provide an optional health care insurance program equal to what our esteemed (throwing up in mouth - lookout!) Congress-folk have, for those who cannot get or cannot afford private insurance.

And now - surprise! - bastards like Mitch McConnel and friends are trying to kill this idea. (How much money for your campaign coffers did the drug and insurance companies offer you, Senator? How much more does that mean to you than the welfare of the American people, Senator?)

They don't want us to have the same kind of health care (FREE HEALTH CARE!) that they get. We are worthless, we are scum, we don't deserve it. They do.

It's that simple. Call/email/balloon-o-gram your Senators and Reps today! Let 'em know how you feel! Let 'em know that they ain't got nothin' on us but $1000 shoes to kick us with. And we'll bite them off their ankles if we have too.

Let's hope that the next time Mitch has to bend-and-cough, it's Dr. Benway wearing the rubber glove.


Friday, June 5, 2009

Worst President Ever?

Am I stealing from The Simpsons or the title of this article? Who knows. In this crazy post-modern blog-o-matic world, it's hard to tell left from up and down from backwards anymore.

But I was heartened to realize that one thing remains the same - my great disgust and loathing for the vile Ronald Reagan. I thought for a while that I'd really have to hate Bush II even more than Bonzo, but now I know that I don't.

It's a good feeling, not having to give up such an old and powerful grudge. The old hates is the good hates, they say. Don't they?

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Brown Skin Woman Scaredy Cat Blues

The Republicans are quaking-at-the-ankles terrified of a petite Latina jurist. Damn, but those white boys is funny!

Afraid she'll best them in a game of Trivial Pursuit - Non-White Male Edition?

BTW, there are some incredible old blues videos on YouTube. Like this one from Lightnin'.

Gawd, do I love Lightnin'!

Space Poop!

I'm still fuming and agitated and rumbling and mad as hell over the murder of Dr. Tiller and the sick defensiveness of the right-wing media and their Xian buddies. (I don't think I will give them the respect of using the proper proper noun to describe them any more; they don't deserve it).

But, a good science story, one involving poop no less, has to make me smile. And the Xian anti-abortion movement is almost as much anti-science as it is anti-women, so I feel doubly good sharing this one with you. Plus, I'm fantasizing about dumping truckloads of guano on the doorstop of Operation Rescue.

Here 'tis, kids: Scientists have found a new way to track Emperor Penguins. Via satellite. By their poop stains! Ta-da!!!

These flightless birds, you must understand, is pretty big. And they live in colonies. So they poop a lot. In one place. And leave great big visible from outerspace stains on the Antarctic ice! Big enough and visible enough that scientists can now find both new and old nesting colonies by looking for the tell-tale brown smear. Wow.

Science is cool.

PS To Memphis - Better watch out! This is the same way they'll track you! You can run but you can't hide... your runs.

Monday, June 1, 2009

My Drool Cup Runneth Over

Less than a day and the hateful bigots have already found a way to defend the killing of a fellow Christian by a fellow Christian within a Christian church.

See, it wasn't really a Christian church - it was a "church." And Dr. Tiller wasn't really a Christian. He was a "Christian."

So, it's all good.

Glad that problem's solved.

(Actually, looks like we got ourselves a homegrown Holy War on our hands, folks! Get ready for the New and Improved Thirty Years' War! Can you say "Defenestration of Wichita"?)

PS Here's a diary snapshot from Daily Kos of the man Bill O'Reilly liked to call (dozens of times over the last few years) "Tiller the Baby Killer." Isn't hate is sooooo much more fun to foment if you can make it rhyme! Of course, this is just some "doctor" giving their opinion. Not a respected "religious leader". Probably best if you don't read it. Don't expose yourself to a different opinion or new idea. Could be dangerous.