Sunday, December 7, 2008

My Cold Dead Hands

Take a gander at the snapshot above. This is from our Big Trip South this last summer, taken at a giant convenience store - country-style gift shop - fireworks depot somewhere in way southern Missouri if I remember rightly. And this was on the door.

Why? Why do we need signs like this? What makes people (to use the term loosely) like the NRA think that every damn one of us should be waking around packing concealed heat? If you ask me, it's a sad interpretation of the 2nd Amendment:

A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the People to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.

I know most folks read this as the right for every nutjob to own and carry around as many weapons as he or she physically can at any given moment, but I don't. I've always read it as pertaining to the arming of state-run citizen militias and not individual citizens. It doesn't make sense to me otherwise.

Gee, just when was the last time my local militia group trained? Gosh, I can't remember. Oh, wait - they call it the National Guard and the United States Army now and we don't need any local militia units full of shotgun- and pitchfork-wielding farmers!!!

Now, I'm no big-city liberal that's never held a gun in his life. I grew up on a farm, aw shucks and by golly! I shot BB-guns and .22s and shotguns and a few rifles growing up. Even a pistol once. Yee-hah! I used to go skeet shooting and target shooting and just generally sometimes shot shit up around the farm for the sheer hell of it (aka boredom). My poor GI Joe collection would still be around today if it weren't for firearms.

I also took a "Hunter's Safety" class like just about every damn kid within 40 miles of me did, run by the NRA. In Wisconsin, it's a deer-hunting tradition that at least one moron per year, one that should never have been allowed near a gun or even ammunition, shoots the heart out of his best friend/brother/father by not following proper hunting safety guidelines. Because of fools like this, I used to think that it was pretty cool that there was a group committed to the safe use of firearms and teaching people how to properly use them.

But as my buddy Mr. Memphis noted in the comments to my previous post, that ain't what the NRA is about now. They are about politics. They are more like the IRA than the NRA of old, an armed wing of the Republican Party wielding a disproportionate amount of political influence based on the number of weapons they own and their pretty plainly stated desire to use them in the name of keeping automatic weapons, cop-killing bullets and any other lethal weapon possible freely available on the streets of America for all of our less-than-levelheaded citizens to enjoy and kill with.

Bastards is all they are now. Total bastards. Complete bastards. Lying bastards. Bastards.

PS I hope someone stuck a gun in Charleton Heston's "cold dead hands" before they stuffed his filthy corpse in the ground. If there is a God (isn't, but just for argument's sake), he's gonna need it when he gets to Hell.

BREAKING UPDATE! Ya'all need to check out the comments. Ed makes the single best argument for banning concealed weapons I've ever seen. Bravo, Mister Ed!

Coincidence City, Arizona: Our supper last night was interrupted by a phone call. Of course, it was a telemarketer. For...the NRA! The nice lady wanted to know when was the last time I got out and enjoyed myself while hunting. I could have been very rude. I could have said, "I'm enjoying myself right now - just keep talking!" But I told her politely that it's been a few decades since I went hunting and that I do not support the NRA or any of the positions they hold about anything. She thanked me and hung up. I finished my salad. A good time was had by all.

PS I will give a free face-licking to the first person to identify the source of the pop-culture meme used as preface/header/whatever on the above paragraph.

Now playing: Julian Cope - Come The Revolution
via FoxyTunes


Ed said...

I'm not one of those "all guns should be illegal" types. I think hunting weapons are fine, I'm not so sure about handguns, particularly in densely populated areas, and automatic weapons definitely don't belong in the average citizen's possession. However, I have serious problems with the concealed-carry thing. The way I see it, I have a right to know if someone is carrying a gun, then I can make a decision about whether or not I want to be in their vicinity or let my children be in their vicinity. Concealed-carry violates that right and I find it disturbing that supporters of concealed-carry don't recognize it. That's my 2¢, for what they're worth.

gomonkeygo said...

You're damn right, Ed, and I think that's the best basis for a good old-fashioned ACLU lawsuit that I can think of! If it comes down to rights of personal safety, as gun freaks like to argue, that argument cuts both ways. Excellent point and thank you!

Anonymous said...

The owner of that establishment is telling passers-by that no one inside is armed.....very smart
And I am sorry Ed, but you do not have a "right" to know if people around you are armed. Where does that "right" spring from?
And how would you like to know that a citizen had a concealed handgun permit? Perhaps some kind of insignia on their clothing? Maybe a star,,,,and what color should that star be? Yellow is a nice color. Worth considering
And doubly worthy since it would tell criminals that they should shoot the permit holder right away. Excellent point and thank you!