Part II: Blame Obama.
Part III: Hope Obama can pull us out of it because we ain't got shit for brains.
Folks, if you believe in God, pray. Me, I'm sharpening pointy sticks.
Update: My Smart Wife reminded me of a subsection to Part I which I failed to append:
Part I, Subsection A: Destroy the heinous UAW. Because workers united is bad, bad, bad. We hates them, hates them all!