Friday, May 21, 2010

The Dirty Diaper Theory of Free Market Baby

Overall, my opinion of Libertarians (thanks for asking, by the way), has been one of non-committal, reluctant acceptance of their existence. While I like some of the basic libertarian ideas regarding individual rights they have, they tend to take everything to an extreme. Especially if it involves property and property rights.

Why do they fetishize property rights so much? Things and what one is allowed to do with things are of over-arching concern to Libertarians. I find this especially confusing because in the United States, at least, the classical definition of libertarianism has for much of the 20th century been hip-joined to socialism. Very anti-thing, if ya know what I mean.

But somewhere along the way, libertarianism met capitalism and had a baby called the free market. This greedy little baby requires unlimited resources and zero restrictions on its growth to survive.

"FEED ME!!!" screams this bastard child!

"DON'T FENCE ME IN!!!" it hollers.


It cries so hard and so long that we come to believe what it is saying. We fear that if we stop feeding it everything it wants, stop giving in to its demands, try to reign in its unimpeded growth, the world as we know it will come to an end.


It's time to put the baby on a diet, kids. Time to pull the feeding tubes and make a great big double-duty belt - for tightening around its waist as much for beating it when it whines.

And the next time baby decides to shit all over us, maybe we'll have a diaper ready. We can't let the fat little bastard run around pantless anymore. It's time for baby to grow up. Or die.

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