Behind Yoo

John Yoo.

Okay, I can't blame you if you can't read past the byline alone. But it's quite fun, really, to see one of the engineers who laid the legal foundation for torture in the name of America trying to cover his sorry ass. Yoo can't even come up with an original argument while he's doing it, nothin' but the same old, same old: "Lookout - we're giving in to the terrorists! Oh, and we're weakening our ability to fight our enemies! You'll be sorry, yeah, you will be. And be afraid, be very afraid!"

At it's sick heart this piece is an extraordinary defense of the bully and the bully's tactics. I think Yoo must've got a lot of shit on the playground as a kid and couldn't wait to grow up and be a bully instead of the bullied. Well, he got his wish for a while working along with his heroes, the Big Bullies, Bush and Cheney. (You know that Bush thought nothing of using a homemade branding iron on college pledges, right?) Now the Big Bullies have left him all alone on the playground when he needs them most. So he's whining. And crying. And snot is running down his nose. And maybe he's even regretting some of the things he did, like setting up American citizens to be tried as war criminals for breaking sacred treaties and international law. Though I doubt it. He's really just scared.

I shouldn't, but I am taking immense pleasure in the discomfort and desperate fear of John Yoo. It is a balm to my heart and - if I have one - soul. It is absolute vindication to me that President Obama is doing the right thing in closing Gitmo, when such a bad, bad, bad person tells him that he isn't. I really like the bit about it being a rash decision, as though the President woke up on his first day in office and said to himself, "Barry I think we're gonna close Gitmo today. What a grand idea. Why didn't we think of it before. Folks'll love us for it. Then we'll look into that dog thing for the girls." Very rich, very droll, Mr. Yoo.

But what's that! Oh, no - lookout, Mr. Yoo! - Eric Holder's right behind you!

PS I forgot to mention earlier, but Mr. Yoo's blathering is really worth reading for one thing: He incriminates Bush for torture!