Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Forgive Us, Sarah - You Can't Help Yourself!

Did ya hear the one about how Sarah Palin's teleprompter malfunctioned so badly during her RNC speech that she had to ad-lib much of it? Yet she still managed to wing it and give the best darn speech of her life? Because she just thought of [Insert name of current state being campaigned in here] and it inspired her to go on?! Golly! She's smart on her feet, ain't she? She can think fast, can't she? She lies like a rug, don't she!

'Cuz, my country cousins, it ain't true. Sweet Sarah's got a problem. She's a liar. A big liar. A huge freakin' liar. And she just can't stop. But she wants all us heartland folk that she identifies with so much to think that she did it just for all us lil' people, people just like her, people who get thousands of dollars in per diem travel expenses to stay at home and work, people who have tanning beds in their homes, people who own seaplanes (yeah, she's got a seaplane!). Regular folk. With beehive hairdos. Like you and me and the B-52s.

I couldn't find a good picture of a liar with pants appropriately on fire, but I figure this one works because she'll be telling us next about her new moose urine-powered rocket pack that she uses to travel around Alaska in proper green fashion, ever since she sold that ol' luxury jet on Ebay. Oh, wait, that was a lie too!

Now playing: The Celibate Rifles - The More Things Change
via FoxyTunes


mug said...

Hah! Great post. And while there may not be such a thing as a moose urine-powered rocket pack -- yet, I'm waiting patiently for the day it arrives in the stores. And once I get me one of them, well, then maybe I too will be able to see Russia from my backyard.

Unca Si said...

Oh, you are SO not even trying...